


Jägerpets

by khilari



Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Agatha parenting tiny Jägers, Gen, Jägermonsters - Freeform, Past Child Abuse, Petstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-01 02:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10912851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khilari/pseuds/khilari
Summary: They're the latest craze in designer pets, genetically modified gibbons as smart as toddlers. When Agatha finds three abandoned ones sheltering in a cardboard box from the rain, she can't help adopting them despite the difficulties. But on top of the challenges of being a combination parent/pet owner, she finds herself wondering where these Jägerpets really came from. They don't act like animals...





	1. Agatha Finds Jägerpets

Agatha was standing in the door to of the fish and chip shop, girding herself for the dash through the rain to her car, when she caught the flash of blond hair in the corner of her vision. For a moment, through the rain, she was looking at a child crouched by a torn black sack next to the take out’s dumpster, both hands pushed through the tear. It was just a fleeting impression of a grubby little face and big dark eyes and then he was gone, dashing across the road even as a passing car came close enough to silhouette him in its headlights.

‘Wait!’ Agatha shouted. She looked back and forth quickly herself, checking for traffic, and then ran across the road after him. There was a flicker of movement and shadow at the mouth of an alley and she ran into it before stopping to catch her breath. What was she doing, a single woman at night, running down an alley? Well, a child shouldn’t be here either, she told herself. ‘Hello?’ she called, advancing more slowly now.

There. A large cardboard box, that might once have held a washing machine, on its side with a sheet of black plastic pulled over it and weighed down with bricks. ‘Hey.’ Agatha approached it cautiously, crouching down to peer in while trying to keep her skirt off the wet ground. ‘Are you okay?’ She lifted the edge of the tarpaulin where it draped over the open side of the box and had to stop herself from jumping. There were two pairs of eyes staring back at her, one dark and one the bright yellow of a cat in passing headlights. Someone snuffled and a third pair of eyes joined them, blinking up at her from the floor of the box.

Three of them, one green, one tan with blond hair and a horn scraping the top of the box, one purple with long, draggled hair, who had been curled up asleep with his head on Green’s knee. Not children at all, but Jägerpets, the latest in the designer pet craze. They were genetically modified gibbons, or something, but they looked disturbingly like toddlers in the dark. Their eyes were rivited on the package in Agatha’s hands more than on her.

‘Do… Do you want some?’ she asked.

‘Yez please!’ Tan said, crawling forwards out of the box. His teeth were like a bear trap but Agatha realised after the first lurch of her heart that he was only smiling.

‘Why don’t you come back to my car, so we can all be dry while you eat?’ she said. _This is how you ended up with Krosp,_ she told herself. _And these aren’t low maintenance pets like cats._

Purple came out of the box next and, after a long moment of yellow eyes weighing her with a startling gravity, Green followed.

Once they were in her car Agatha handed them the fish to tear into on the back seat. She climbed into the driver’s seat and twisted herself around to keep watching them. In the enclosed space she could smell them and, oh god, those poor kids, how long since anyone had taken care of them? But also she was never going to get the smell out of her car, ever. They were sharing the food out with surprising civility. A third of the fish and a pile of chips each.

‘That’s not much, is it?’ said Agatha, realising. Also, she was still hungry herself. ‘I’m going to go and buy more. You wait here, okay?’

‘Yez, mizz,’ said Tan, with his mouth full.

Well, if they ran off she hadn’t lost anything but a rather baffling responsibility. Agatha went back inside to order more food.

Watching them eat, messy with those jagged teeth and leaving grease and crumbs all over her seat, Agatha could get a better look at them. Their clothes were ragged — she was glad they had clothes, they looked too human to be running around naked, not to mention they’d been out in the cold and rain — but had once been pretty fancy, if Agatha was any judge, Purple’s still had a few brass buttons hanging on. Green’s ears twitched when someone walked past the car into the fish and chip shop. Purple extended his tongue to lick grease off his fingers and it lolled out past his chin. Were gibbon tongues that long? They were strange little creatures, as if someone had thrown together whatever animal features they could think of to make the cutest little monsters they could imagine, with the shark teeth and Tan’s horn and their little claws.

By the time they’d all eaten their fill and were sitting on the back seat looking half asleep Agatha had made up her mind. ‘Would you like to come home with me?’ she said.

Tan and Purple looked at Green who said, ‘Hyu want uz to?’

‘Yes,’ Agatha said, firmly.

At which point Tan threw himself off the back seat and wiggled his way between the two front ones, over the handbrake, and straight into Agatha’s lap. ‘Yez! Hy want to!’ he said. He was filthy, smelly, _tiny_ , and as Agatha found her arms and lap full of him she couldn’t stop the wave of tenderness that overtook her. She wrapped her arms around him.

‘I’m glad,’ she said, softly.

‘Yeah, ve come,’ said Purple. He and Green were looking at her hugging Tan almost as hungrily as they’d looked at the fish and chips.


	2. Agatha Baths Jägerpets

Fortunately they were asleep in the car before Agatha even reached her house which meant she could leave them there while she ran into a supermarket to buy… oh heavens, what did Jägerpets _need?_

Food, definitely, and clothes, and… uh…

Okay, the internet said that they had much the same nutritional needs as humans, so she could just buy more of what she’d been planning to eat herself for now and research more later. Also, the fish and chips had probably been fine, although it was a bit late to worry about that now. Clothes in the children’s department, she could guess at sizes. Diapers — some people potty trained their Jägerpets, apparently, she’d have to read more about that later too, but some didn’t — pull ups would cover both possibilities. The mildest shampoo and soap she could find because she was _definitely_ going to _clean them_. A teddy bear each, one green, one purple and one brown, because… because they were near the check out mostly. That would do. She didn’t want to hang around and risk them waking up while she was gone.

They hadn’t, and Agatha stopped to smile at the little pile they made on her back seats, before putting her purchases into the passenger seat and driving — carefully — home.

She opened the back door of the car, wondering how to go about waking them up, but as soon as she leaned in they all came awake at once. They were tense, blinking up at her warily, before Tan broke into a huge smile and climbed into her arms as if he belonged there. Agatha laughed, a little nervously. How had he got attached to her this quickly? Krosp had followed her home after she fed him the chicken out of a chicken sandwich and refused to leave, but it had still taken a few months for him to warm up to her when it wasn’t mealtime.

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Let’s go inside. Are you two okay walking?’

‘Ve’z fine,’ said Purple.

They bumbled around her legs, still a little dazed with sleep, as she opened the front door and ushered them in. Krosp, who had been waiting in the hall for her, took one look at them and fled, which was probably wise. Curious little kids didn’t always mix with cats and curious little apes probably didn’t either.

‘Kitty?’ said Green.

‘Yes, that’s Krosp,’ Agatha told him. ‘Leave him alone for now, he won’t like being chased. He was a stray like you guys.’ She walked up the stairs towards the bathroom. Bath first, then she could put them to bed, then she’d have space to think about this.

The Jägerpets were staring around as if the magnolia walls and beige carpet that marked this place as a rental were fascinating — oh no, rental, well she _was_ allowed pets, she’d just have to cover the damage if they broke anything. Even if her landlord had granted her permission for a cat, not a troupe of Jägers.

Green stopped in the door of the bathroom and gave the tub exactly the kind of suspicious look that Krosp had just given him. ‘Iz bath time?’ he said.

‘Yes,’ said Agatha, putting Tan down next to her where he promptly latched onto her leg. ‘It’s bath time.’

‘Hy dun need a bath,’ Green argued.

‘You really, really do,’ said Agatha, turning on the taps.

‘Hy dun like being wet.’

‘You’re _already_ wet. This way you’ll be warm and _clean_.’

While Green looked like he was mustering his next argument, Purple heaved a huge sigh and flopped dramatically onto the bathroom floor, as much to say that he resigned himself to his fate but Agatha was going to have to physically put him in the tub to get him there. Agatha snorted, put the plug in, and broke Tan’s hold on her leg to pick him up properly while she ran downstairs for the soap and a jug to pour water on their hair, because otherwise she was going to trip over him.

Agatha turned off the tap, checked the temperature of the water with her elbow (she’d read somewhere that you shouldn’t use your hands because they were too used to temperature extremes), and nodded to herself. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Clothes off.’

Since Purple clearly wasn’t going to do it himself she picked him up and started undoing his shirt. Green’s ears flopped right over, like a dog’s, but he started taking his own clothes off, and Tan even wriggled out of his almost eagerly — more to get them off than to have a bath, she thought, they couldn’t be comfortable in that state. She plopped Purple in the tub, making sure he’d unflopped before letting go of him, and then grabbed Green and Tan and plunked them in too.

Tan and Purple didn’t really seem to hate the water, once they were in it. They started out splashing and then grabbed the jug off the side of the bath and started pouring water over each other. Agatha hastily grabbed towels and spread them on the floor around the tub, but she didn’t try to stop them. They were having fun and it was only getting them cleaner. Green still looked upset, which might have been because he was _furry_ , with a pelt like a chimpanzee or an orangutan. It didn’t cover his head or hands, which was why it hadn’t been obvious when he’d had clothes on. Agatha decided to start with him, since the other two were occupied and would probably be easier to clean.

He squirmed away when she tried to rub soap into his fur, though. ‘Come on, it will rinse out,’ Agatha promised.

He wrinkled his nose. ‘Eet _smells_.’

Agatha narrowly stopped herself from saying _not as much as you do_. ‘Oh. Is that what this is about? You don’t like the smell of soap.’

Tan looked up from playing. ‘Bleh,’ he agreed.

‘I’ll see if I can find less scented soap.’ It was already mild. Maybe soaps designed for animals? ‘But for tonight you’ll just have to put up with it, and it will be over quicker if you just let me clean you.’

Green considered this. ‘Hokay.’

It was not particularly quick. They were squirmy, more distracted than defiant, slipping out of her grip to pounce on one another. Her glasses needed wiping about a dozen times, her front wound up soaked in filthy water, and she had to refill the tub because of how dirty the water got. They were too thin, she thought, sliding the washcloth over protruding ribs and knobbly spines. She paused while cleaning Purple when she picked up his hands to check the splashing around had cleaned them off and found a jagged, lavender scar across the lilac of his right palm.

‘What happened to your hand?’ she asked him.

He pulled it away and hid it under the water. ‘Vas a tin.’

‘A tin?’

‘Open vun.’ He mimed a tin opener. ‘In a bag.’

‘Oh, a trash bag? You were looking for food?’ Agatha winced, thinking of how sharp opened cans could be, imagining a soft little hand sliced open. ‘Is it okay now?’

‘Dun hurt. Ken’t hold things goot.’ And then he was distracted by Tan throwing a jug of water over them both.

‘Okay,’ Agatha said, when she’d refilled the tub again and let them play around for a bit. ‘Now hair.’

Green first, because ‘it won’t be any worse than your fur’ was an argument she could make, there. His dark, purplish, hair was a significantly different texture than his fur, more like human hair, but it was short and not really any harder to clean. Tan took a bit longer because Agatha had to work shampoo around his horn without getting smacked in the face by it (more than once).

Purple she’d left until last because his hair was down to his waist, locks of it floating in the bathwater like seaweed. It was a similar black-purple colour to Green’s, but sleeker, and it would have been beautiful if it hadn’t been a mess of matts and tangles. Working shampoo into it was a chore, especially when it was uncomfortable and boring for Purple, leading to him wriggling around and whining.

In the end Agatha gave up and ran downstairs to grab the kitchen scissors.

‘Okay,’ she said, kneeling down by the bath tub again. ‘I’m going to cut your hair. Hold still for me.’

‘No!’ Purple threw himself down into the water and scrambled behind Green. ‘Is mine hair! Mine!’

‘It’s matted,’ Agatha said, taking hold of him by the upper arm and pulling him back towards her. He really would feel better for not having matts attached to him, even if he didn’t understand. ‘And it will grow back.’

‘NOOOOO!’ Purple wailed at the top of his lungs, making her realise how quiet they’d all been until then. ‘I don’t WANNA. I… MINE… don’t WANNA.’ He threw himself down again, dragging on her hand with all his weight, and kicked at her wrist.

‘Maxim, don’t,’ Green said, grabbing at his feet.

Agatha let go more in surprise at the name than anything. They’d been talking since she met them, but it hadn’t occurred to her to ask if they knew their own names.

‘Let GO!’ Maxim yelled, smacking his fists against Green’s chest. ‘I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, let GO!’

Agatha dropped the scissors so she could grab Maxim out of the water and hold him with both arms where he couldn’t hit or kick. He could probably still bite, oh god, she hoped he didn’t bite. But all he actually did was go limp in her arms and start sobbing hysterically, little snuffles of ‘no’ and ‘mine’ coming out whenever he got enough breath.

‘Okay,’ said Agatha, shifting her grip so she could rub his back. ‘Shhhh, it’s okay, I won’t cut it. I promise. It’s okay.’ He pressed his face into her shoulder and gradually the sobbing tailed off. ‘There,’ she said. ‘Good boy. Now. You’re going to have to be very good and patient while I get your hair clean. I’m sorry, but there’s a lot of it. Can you do that?’

‘Yez,’ he said quietly.

‘Good boy.’

He was good, too. He whimpered a bit when a tangle got pulled or shampoo, despite Agatha’s best efforts, got into his eyes, but if it meant he got to keep his hair apparently he could endure. Tan scooted over to hold one of his hands under the water.

‘So,’ Agatha said, wanting to distract them all a bit. ‘I’m Agatha. I just learnt Maxim’s name. What about you two?’

‘Hy’m Ognian, hyu ken call me Oggie,’ said Tan. ‘Dot’s vot Mizz Lulu called me.’

‘Was that your owner?’

Oggie nodded. Agatha wondered whether to ask more, but they’d been abandoned. Asking about owners might just cause more upset.

‘Hy’m Dimo,’ said Green.

‘Mizz Agatha,’ said Oggie.

‘Yes?’ Agatha asked.

He shook his head with a grin. ‘Hy chust like it.’

Afterwards they were sleepy enough that Agatha got them into diapers and three of her oldest shirts (she’d forgotten pyjamas) with minimum fuss. Agatha wound up sitting on the floor of the bathroom with Dimo on one side, Oggie on the other, and Maxim on her lap while she brushed his hair with her widest toothed comb. He was good about this too, and not in the resigned way he’d been about the shampoo, he relaxed into it.

‘Do you like having your hair brushed?’ she asked him.

‘Yez. Feels goot.’ He snuggled against her, face down so she could still reach his hair. ‘Shelley liked brushink me too.’

‘It is very nice hair. I’m sorry I was going to cut it without asking you.’

‘Iz hokay. Hyu stopped.’

Agatha supposed people usually didn’t stop when they’d made up their mind about something concerning him. Owners always made decisions for their pets. It was just… odd… when the pet could argue. Okay, Krosp could definitely argue with some of her decisions, but he couldn’t _negotiate_ them. She couldn’t tell him, ‘I won’t wrap you in the towel if you’ll sit and let me clip your claws without it’.

Maxim was asleep by the time she’d finished. She carried him and Oggie upstairs, one in each arm, with Dimo following.

The bed in the guest room was only a single, but they were small and used to sleeping cuddled up. Agatha put Maxim and Oggie down on the bed and hastily started moving pictures and ornaments to higher shelves. Once she was done she noticed Dimo was lying on the floor.

‘Dimo? Don’t you want to get into bed?’ she asked.

Dimo gave her a puzzled look. ‘Hy’m not allowed on the furniture.’

‘Oh.’ Agatha picked him up, cuddled him, and set him down next to the others. ‘You’re allowed on _this_ furniture, because it’s my furniture and I say so. Okay?’

He smiled up at her, that huge sharp grin she was starting to get used to. ‘Hokay.’

She stood in the doorway until they were all asleep, then turned out the light and shut the door.

She was filthy, soaked, exhausted, the bathroom needed cleaning, and she still had reading to finish for college tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With thanks to Almighty_Hat for advice on small children and baths.


	3. Jägerpets At Play

Agatha was woken by the most tremendous crash from downstairs. It left her stunned for a moment, half thinking she must have dreamt it, then someone sobbed. She was out of bed and running downstairs in an instant, nearly tripping on Krosp as he bolted up past her, before reaching the bottom and throwing open the door to the living room.

Her narrow bookcase was on the floor, books scattered everywhere, a green arm protruding from beneath it.

‘Dimo!’ Oh god, she should have barricaded the bedroom door or Jägerproofed her home or _something_ , but she hadn’t thought they could reach the handle! Even as she knelt down to look, Oggie lifted the top of the bookcase with one hand and Dimo wiggled out.

Oh. Right. Apes. They might look like toddlers, but they were _strong_.

Agatha grabbed Dimo, as gently as she could make herself, and pulled his shirt off to check for bruises. ‘Are you okay? Does it hurt?’

‘Hy’m okay,’ he said, bravely, scrubbing the back of his hand across his teary eyes.

‘You have to tell me if it hurts. Can you move everything okay? Wiggle your fingers.’ There might be bruising she couldn’t see under the fur, but there didn’t seem to be anything broken. Dimo seemed less shaken than she was, really.

‘Hy’m sorry about hyu books,’ he said.

Agatha wrapped her arms around him, gently. ‘Never mind about the books. I don’t want you hurting yourself!’ She sighed and stroked his back, fur all soft and fluffy from last night’s washing. ‘What time is it?’ It was six o’clock in the morning, too early to be up but too late to get back to sleep. Especially with no way to confine her lively new pets to their room. ‘Since we’re all up, let’s get you lot dressed.’

When she went into the bathroom to change diapers she found a drawer from the guest room dressing table emptied out and upturned on the floor next to the toilet. ‘Why?’ she asked.

‘Hy couldn’t reach,’ Dimo explained, stepping onto it and sitting down on the edge of the toilet as a demonstration of what he’d needed it for.

‘That’s very ingenious, Dimo,’ Agatha said. It probably explained how they’d got out of their room, too. Not to mention serving her right for wondering whether they were potty trained and then not thinking about providing either a potty or access to a bathroom. She’d get them a proper tall step.

For now she got them into the corduroy trousers and cotton t-shirts she’d bought them and held them up to the sink in turn to have them wash their hands before breakfast. It had the benefit of making sure they did it.

‘Now, you can wait in your room while I get dressed,’ said Agatha. ‘But first I’ve got something for you.’ She pulled the teddy bears out of the bottom of the clothing bag and handed them out.

‘Thenk hyu!’ Oggie said, then immediately grabbed the teddy bear in his mouth so he had both hands free to hug her with. Dimo and Maxim piled on a moment later, and Agatha managed to get her arms around all three of them in return.

What she needed, Agatha thought as she pulled on her favourite green skirt, was time to google whether it was okay to leave Jägerpets alone during the day and how to Jägerproof your house. What _they_ needed, judging by the thumps, squeals and laughter from the bedroom, was somewhere safe to run around and burn that energy off. There was a park fairly near her house and while they probably technically weren’t allowed in the actual playpark bit it was six o’clock on a Thursday morning. People would have to be there to object.

‘Breakfast!’ she called. ‘And then we’re going to the park.’

Watching them in the park Agatha could see the apes more than the children. Maxim was the only one who couldn’t do the monkey bars as easily as walking, and that was only because his right hand wouldn’t grip. When Agatha showed them how to gain momentum on the swings by swinging their legs they used it to drive the swing as high as they could go and then launched themselves from it. Oggie climbed the ladder to the slide and then jumped off the top, shrieking with laughter as he landed on hands and knees. They pushed one another off the roundabout and played a game of tag that was more than half wrestling. It kept Agatha on edge while she researched, constantly wondering whether she should intervene. But they didn’t seem hurt or frightened, by their own antics or each other’s. Somehow, too, whenever she looked up to check on them she seemed to meet Dimo’s eyes, as if he was checking on her back.

Eventually, or at least it felt like eventually, it had been about forty minutes, they came back and flopped down in the grass by Agatha’s feet, picking up their teddy bears from where they’d left them. She pulled a water bottle out of her bag and gave it to them to pass around. ‘Did you tire yourselves out?’ she asked.

They nodded.

‘You can sleep in the car.’ In fact they’d _better_ sleep in the car, because Agatha could neither take them into a supermarket nor leave them loose in her house until she’d bought things she could Jägerproof it with.

She had to carry all three of them back to the car, Dimo riding piggy back, but at least it wasn’t far.

The most important part of the Jägerproofing was an extra tall pet gate — Agatha having developed a healthy respect for their climbing ability. Most of the things she didn’t want them to be able to reach were downstairs, including absolutely everything in the kitchen, upstairs was their bedroom, her bedroom (which she didn’t really mind them going into) and the bathroom. A pet gate meant she could shut them upstairs and Krosp downstairs, too, minimising conflict, or any more attempts at climbing the furniture to reach the kitty.

Okay, caps on all the sockets, everything breakable upstairs moved to high shelves, some toys in their bedroom — light plastic building blocks, some koosh balls, a set of scientifically inaccurate rubber dinosaurs, and a chalkboard — tall step in the bathroom — and she’d left green, purple and yellow plastic cups in there after checking they could use the tap. They should be fine.

She was going to be late for her ten o’clock seminar, but not late enough to miss it entirely.

‘Be good,’ she said, checking the gate was shut with them firmly on the other side of it. ‘I’ll be back for lunch.’

‘Mizz Agatha?’ Oggie caught at her skirt through the bars. ‘Pleaze dun leave us.’

‘I have to. I have to go to college.’ He was starting to cry and there were a lot of things she could do for them, but she couldn’t completely abandon her own life. ‘I’ll be back for lunch. In a couple of hours.’

‘But vot if hyu don’t?’ Oggie’s claws were snagging in her skirt, she worked them loose and squeezed his hand, then let go and moved out of his reach.

‘I _will_.’

‘But —’

She practically fled down the stairs, feeling like a coward. They’d managed by themselves in a cardboard box, surely they could handle a nice house alone for a few hours? If they couldn’t, then she couldn’t do this. _Should_ she be doing this? Being better than life on the streets didn’t mean she was really prepared to care for them. What if she found a rescue, turned them over to someone who had the money and resources for Jägerpets?

Except they’d think it was their fault, that they’d been too much trouble, when really they’d been remarkably sweet. Except they’d be split up, because who _would_ be prepared for three of them at once? Except if she asked them whether they’d rather go and take a chance on someone better prepared, she already knew they’d rather stay.

Except she’d had them for less than a day and she’d already miss them.


	4. What Oggie Fears

‘Hey,’ Van said, catching up with her after the seminar. ‘I took notes on the first bit for you. Do you want to get lunch?’

‘I can’t. I’ve got to get home.’

‘Don’t you have a workshop this afternoon? Are you really going to go home and come back again?’

‘I have to.’ Agatha heaved a sigh. ‘I found these stray Jägerpets yesterday and I have to go and get _them_ lunch.’

‘Really?’ Van raised his eyebrows. ‘Did you know you’re the second person that’s happened to?’

Van always knew all the gossip. Sometimes Agatha wondered why he was in an engineering course instead of administration. Or espionage. ‘Really? Who else?’

‘Sleipnir. Or rather, her housemate. She’s not happy about it.’ He went to take a sip from his ever present starbucks and then realised it was empty. ‘Apparently he’s done things like this before. His parents run a rescue so sometimes he just turns up with stray animals until he can hand them over. But they’ve got three people living in an apartment above her boyfriend’s bar.’

‘Inconsiderate,’ Agatha agreed. ‘Although I can see why he couldn’t leave one. They look so much like children.’

‘Are you keeping them?’

‘I don’t _know_ ,’ Agatha groaned. ‘I feel awful for leaving them alone, but I don’t know whether they’d be better off with a rescue. I don’t know how easy they are to place or… or anything. Maybe I should talk to Sleipnir’s housemate.’

Van looked concerned. ‘Are you going to be able to make the workshop?’

‘I have to,’ said Agatha, grimly, ‘I need the grades.’ She pushed her hair back. ‘Anyway, I really do need to get home. I’ll see you later.’

‘Take care,’ Van said.

Agatha opened the door to her house to find Krosp waiting for her as usual. She took a moment to rub his ears while he wound through her feet purring, and then Oggie started yelling from upstairs. ‘ _Mizz Agatha, Mizz Agatha, Mizz Agatha._ ’

‘I’m coming, Oggie,’ she called back. ‘Sorry, Krosp, someone else needs attention.’

Oggie was behind the pet gate, trying to climb the vertical bars in impatience. ‘Mizz Agatha!’

Agatha opened the gate and he hurtled into her arms in a way that really wasn’t very safe at the top of the stairs. She managed to catch herself on the wall with one shoulder while hugging him, and stepped up through the gate to where the other two waited on the landing. They’d come out to greet her, but they didn’t seem anywhere near as distressed as Oggie.

‘Hi, Mizz Agatha,’ Maxim said, tugging on her skirt. ‘Ve built a kestle.’

‘Ooh,’ said Agatha. ‘Can I see it?’

Maxim nodded happily and tugged her into, not their bedroom, but hers. It was a pretty nice castle, built from the plastic blocks, some books she’d left lying around, and her hairdryer making an impressive turret. Once she’d properly admired it she asked, ‘Why did you build it in here? I thought the toys were in your bedroom.’

Maxim sighed. ‘Oggie vouldn’t get off the vindowsill.’

Agatha looked at her bedroom window, with its view of the drive and garden path. ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘…Let’s get some lunch.’

Oggie tried to be literally under her feet the whole time she was cooking scrambled eggs and then wanted to sit on her lap while he ate them. She felt bad enough about the whole thing to give in and let him chatter away with his mouth full while she tried to eat hers around him. Afterwards she let them go out in the back yard while she did the dishes, but Oggie clung to her. She had him do the drying, at least of cutlery and plastic plates, since if he was going to be there he could be useful. Through the window she watched Maxim and Dimo run about and investigate the overgrown flower beds.

‘Maxim, Dimo!’ she called afterwards. ‘Time to go back upstairs.’

The came in quickly enough, Maxim obviously chewing something.

‘What are you eating?’ Agatha demanded.

Maxim swallowed hastily. ‘Nottink.’

‘Maxim, tell me right now, or…’ She wasn’t actually sure what the ‘or’ was going to be. Taking away toys seemed needlessly cruel when they’d only just been given them, separating him from the other two even temporarily seemed worse. She was going to have to figure out _some_ kind of punishment for situations where she really needed it, though, and not everything outdoors was necessarily safe to eat.

Maxim looked down. ‘Vas a caterpillar.’

Agatha sighed, relieved she wouldn’t have to think of something just yet. ‘Okay.’ She didn’t think eating insects would do him any harm, although she was a bit concerned about pesticides. ‘It’s probably better if you don’t do that.’ Maxim looked like he disagreed, but didn’t argue. ‘Now come on, time to go upstairs.

It was at the top of the stairs that she ran into a problem. Oggie would not go through the gate. He was entirely aware that once he was safely shut on the other side of it Agatha would leave, therefore if he remained on _this_ side of it Agatha would have to stay. He grabbed onto bars on both sides of the open gateway and held on for dear life.

‘Oggie,’ snapped Agatha. ‘Go in. Or no dessert tonight.’

‘Hy dun care,’ Oggie sobbed. ‘Hy like hyu better than dessert.’

‘That’s very sweet. But _I’d_ like to go to college.’ She pushed him gently, which did absolutely nothing, then pushed him harder, which continued to do nothing.

Dimo grabbed one of Oggie’s hands and started peeling it off the bars. ‘Oggie. She ken’t stay,’ he said.

She should deal with that, she thought vaguely, as she started to peel Oggie’s other hand off the bars herself. Dimo’s attempts to enforce her wishes on the other two. She was sure it wasn’t healthy for him to be trying to set himself up as mediator. Even if it was useful. She finally managed to push Oggie through and get the gate closed and locked.

He promptly threw himself against it and started wailing. ‘Dun leave me. DUN LEAVE ME!’

This had to get easier, she thought, resting her head on the steering wheel as she took a moment to calm down before driving. For at least one of them.

Getting back that evening she expected to be greeted by Oggie yelling for her again. Instead the house was full of the sound of heartbroken sobbing. Even Krosp looked perturbed. She quickly headed upstairs and found them all in her bedroom. For some reason her linen bin had been emptied onto the floor and Oggie was curled up in a nest of dirty laundry, crying pitifully, while the other two attempted to offer comfort.

‘Oh dear,’ she said. ‘Oggie, sweetheart, I’m home.’

He looked at her like he’d just seen a miracle and ran across the room to bury his head in her stomach, somehow crying twice as hard. Agatha ruffled his hair and rubbed his back.

‘It’s okay. I told you I’d come back. I came back before.’

‘Hy didn’t _know_.’

‘It’s my house. I’m not going to just leave it,’ Agatha said, hand still petting his hair.

He sniffled against her blouse. ‘Mizz Lulu did.’

Agatha picked him up and sat down on the bed with him on her lap. ‘What happened to Miss Lulu?’

‘She went avay to hospital. At first it was just for a little, then it vas longer, and longer, and she alvays _said_ she’d come back. Pipple came to feed me, but they vouldn’t tek me to her, I asked und asked und asked und asked und asked —’

‘Shh, I get it,’ Agatha said. ‘But I’m not going to hospital. I’m not sick, I’m just going away to learn things.’

‘But vot if something happens and hyu just neffer come beck?’

It was actually a disturbing thought. She was leaving them locked upstairs during the day, if something did happen to her… well, she’d told Van she had them, he’d hear if anything happened to her and he’d do something sensible. She should probably actually ask him to instead of taking his benevolent efficiency for granted.

‘It… could happen,’ she said, reluctantly. ‘It’s not likely to happen and I don’t think you need to worry about it, but I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you it couldn’t.’

‘’Cuz it _could_.’

‘Accidents can always happen,’ said Agatha. ‘But they usually don’t.’ It seemed like pretty cold comfort, even to her. The mattress dipped as the other two climbed up and settled against her, one on each side. She’d probably worried them, now.

‘Ken’t Hy come vit hyu? Hy’d be _so_ qviet,’ Oggie asked.

‘It’s not allowed, sweetheart.’ What was she going to do with this grieving child? She remembered being three and realising her father was gone for good, how tightly she’d wanted to hold on to Uncle Barry. The death of a caregiver was a terrible thing. ‘I’m so sorry.’ He reached up and brushed a hand across her cheek, claw skimming her cheekbone without breaking the skin. Agatha realised she was crying too. She looked down to either side of her, finding tear tracks on Maxim’s face and a wet, glassy look in Dimo’s eyes. ‘Oh dear,’ she said. ‘I think we all need a hot drink and a movie.’ She squeezed Oggie again. ‘But if you want to talk to me about Miss Lulu — if any of you want to talk to me about anything — then I’m here.’

Agatha had always been fond of Disney movies, but she didn’t have them on DVD, so it was with the help of a quick bit of piracy that _The Little Mermaid_ and some hot milk gave everyone the chance to wind down before dinner.

* * *


	5. Jägerpets Meet Gil

Saturday afternoon found Agatha curled up one of the living room’s two faded armchairs, typing up notes on her computer while the Jägers drew at the dinner table. The living room and dining room were open plan so she could keep an eye on them just by glancing up every now and again. She’d taken them to the park later that morning, rather than the six’o clock trip of the past two days that she feared was going to become a routine. It meant they couldn’t use the equipment, but she’d bought them a frisbee and taught them to throw it. That had kept them occupied, especially when they threw it into a tree and all climbed up to get it.

For now things were surprisingly peaceful. So, of course, that peace was interrupted by Agatha’s phone ringing.

‘Hello, Agatha Heterodyne,’ she said, mind still half on equations.

‘Hi, this is Gil Wulfenbach. Sleipnir’s friend? She said you wanted to talk to me?’

‘Oh, hi. Just a sec.’ Agatha took a quick look at the Jägerpets, absorbed in their drawing, and slipped out of the living room. She shut the door behind her then ran upstairs and shut her bedroom door behind her as well. ‘Hi,’ she said, sitting on the bed. ‘Thanks for calling. I heard your Dad runs a rescue that takes Jägerpets?’

‘Yeah. Did you want to give yours up?’

‘They’re not _mine_ , exactly, I mean I found them,’ Agatha said defensively.

‘Right, sorry, Sleipnir said. But did you?’

‘I don’t know.’ Agatha started winding her fingers into the top of the duvet cover nervously. ‘They’re… one of them especially is having trouble with my college schedule. His previous owner died and he’s terrified I won’t come back every time I leave him… which means he’s spending several hours a day terrified and miserable and I’m not sure it will get better. He might be better off with someone who can be with him all the time.’

‘So you just wanted to give that one up?’

‘No!’ Agatha exclaimed, startled. ‘No, definitely not, I wasn’t thinking of separating them. They’ve been there for each other a lot longer than they’ve been with me. They’re incredibly close.’

‘The rescue probably wouldn’t be able to place them all together,’ said Gil, apologetically. ‘They’d be together while they were with the rescue, and I guess my Dad would always be around, but he wouldn’t have time to give them much individual attention. And if they got placed they’d almost certainly be split up. If you can only keep two of them, it might be better if you did. At least that way those two would have each other.’

‘I see.’ The idea of sending away sweet-natured Oggie, who’d been so quick to trust, who’d convinced the other two, really, to take a chance on her… ‘I just want what’s best for them.’

‘You should probably keep them,’ said Gil, and then continued sheepishly. ‘I mean, if you care about them this much, at least you’ll try. Not everyone does.’

Agatha sighed. ‘Sometimes caring isn’t enough.’

Gil was silent for a moment. ‘Do you want to meet up? I’m free tomorrow and I know a sandwich bar that’s willing to serve Jägerpets.’

‘That would be good,’ Agatha said. It would be nice to meet someone who knew a bit about these creatures. ‘I’m surprised anywhere does.’

‘Welcoming pets is their thing. Usually that means dogs, but they’re pretty good about anything. They’d probably serve my lobster if he didn’t have to stay in his tank.’

‘You have a lobster.’

‘I’ve had him since I was eight. He’s called Zoing.’

Agatha snorted with laughter.

‘Tomorrow, then? I’ll text you the address.’

‘Tomorrow.’ Agatha agreed. She put the phone down feeling better just for having someone she could talk to about this.

Downstairs she found the Jägerpets had stopped drawing. Oggie and Maxim were both in tears, arms wrapped around one another, while Dimo, leaning over the table towards them, started guiltily when Agatha arrived.

‘What happened here? Did you guys have an argument?’ Agatha asked. They shook their heads, eyes down. Agatha supposed they were unlikely to tell on one another, however much she’d like to know what had happened. She crouched down next to them. ‘What have you been drawing?’

Oggie grabbed a piece of paper and slid it towards her. ‘Hy drew uz.’

The drawing was of blobby stick figures. Three small ones, purple, green and tan, with Maxim’s long hair scribbled in and a little spiral over one side of Oggie’s head, and two big ones. One of the figures had to be Agatha, with her cowlick standing up like a pineapple top and glasses bigger than her head, the other had grey curls and a pink scribble on her body.

‘Is that Miss Lulu?’ Agatha asked.

Oggie nodded. ‘Hy vanted effryvun in it.’ And then he started sobbing in earnest.

The peaceful part of the day seemed to be over. Even after Agatha had calmed Oggie down he remained tearful. Grief, she thought. It was only to be expected. Maxim was being moody, withdrawn and unwilling to speak, and Dimo was even quieter than usual. Agatha hoped they hadn’t had a fight. They were always so good with one another. _Always, really, it’s been three days,_ she reminded herself. _Just because they stick together tightly in new circumstances doesn’t mean they never argue._

The trip to the sandwich bar the next day didn’t seem to please them either. So far they’d been eager to go just about anywhere, but this time they were anxious. Even being told they were going to meet someone who had his own Jägerpet didn’t catch their interest.

The sandwich bar was beside a river, children and dogs splashing around in the shallows together, a happy chaos that looked as if it might have a place for Jägerpets too. Agatha would have to remember this place. Even though the fine days would probably be over for the year fairly soon.

She ordered herself a gin and tonic while she waited, and told the Jägers they could go and play for a bit before lunch. But all that got her was mute headshakes.

‘What are you guys afraid of? You’re not normally this nervous outside.’ They hadn’t been to the park that morning, even, they should be bursting with energy. ‘Is it the… the children?’ She’d nearly said ‘the _other_ children’.

Dimo hesitated, and then nodded.

‘You’ve got just as much right to be here as they do,’ Agatha said firmly.

‘Hey,’ said someone behind her. ‘Agatha?’

Agatha looked up and had to stifle a shriek. The man talking to her was overshadowed by the Jägerpet next to him, tall enough to come up to his shoulders with blue skin and deep inky eyes. The proportions were still childish, but those beartrap teeth had been hard enough to get used to on _little_ ones. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know they got so big.’

‘They’re not meant to,’ said Gil. ‘I think something went wrong with Vole.’

Vole leant forward to sniff curiously at her Jägerpets, before turning towards a waitress going past with chocolate cake and reaching out.

‘Vole, _no_ ,’ Gil snapped. Vole hesitated, looked at Gil’s face, and then thumped down onto his bottom. ‘Good,’ said Gil, ruffling his hair.

‘Cake?’ said Vole. It was a strange voice, deep but childish.

‘After lunch,’ said Gil. ‘Sandwiches first.’ Vole growled. ‘Yes, _grrrrr_ , but it’s still sandwiches first.’

Agatha smiled at him, taking in tan skin, fluffy brown hair and a well-muscled body. ‘I’m Agatha,’ she said. ‘Let me introduce everyone. This is Dimo, this is Maxim and this is Oggie.’ They all muttered hello and shrank away from Gil, causing Agatha to frown in concern. Well, she’d never introduced them to anyone before. Maybe they were always shy.

She and Gil chatted, more about themselves than the Jägerpets, while they ate. He was a medical student, working in his friend Theo’s bar in the evenings to help pay for university. Agatha’s family had enough money for her not to need to work her way through college and she’d been able to rent the house from a family friend. None of Agatha’s relatives lived particularly close. His parents were based in this town, but ran the rescue out of a large camper van, which meant they had a circuit and were sometimes in town and sometimes not.

‘They’ll be back in a few weeks,’ Gil said. ‘My Dad will probably want a copy of all the work I’ve done while he’s away, too.’

‘Has he studied medicine, then?’

‘No. That just doesn’t stop him,’ Gil said, with a weary grin.

Agatha looked over at the Jägerpets when she heard something that sounded like a hiccup and found Oggie holding his breath, eyes glassy with tears. ‘Oh, Oggie, sweetheart, what’s wrong?’ She picked him up and he clung to her, but took a few shallow gasps of breath and then held it again. ‘If you need to cry you can cry,’ she said, rubbing his back.

He shook his head and then said, shakily. ‘Hy won’t cry anymore. Hy won’t!’

‘But you can, it’s okay,’ Agatha said, helplessly.

‘Dun say that!’ She looked down to find Maxim staring up at her, fists clenched in tiny outrage. ‘Dun say he ken cry und then send him away for it! He dun vant to go! Hyu… Hyu iz _mean_. Mean und nasty und I hate hyu.’

Oggie was shivering in her arms, while Dimo was curled up in his place on the bench, arms around his knees, as if to make himself as small as possible.

‘I’m not sending him away for _crying_ … I’m not… were you all listening in on my phone call?’

‘Dimo voz,’ said Maxim, triumphantly.

Agatha glanced at Gil, feeling helpless and humiliated, everything about how badly she’d handled this on display. Gil looked embarrassed too. Around them people were staring.

‘Hy’m sorry,’ Dimo whispered into his knees. ‘But… if hyu voz going to send Oggie avay… or send uz avay with him… Hy thought. Hy thought ve could be good.’

‘Eavesdropping doesn’t exactly count as being good!’ Agatha said. Dimo curled up tighter. ‘We can’t have this conversation here. We’re going home. Dimo, Maxim, into the car. Gil, I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ said Gil. ‘Look… we can try this again. Or phone me.’

‘I… um. I’ll think about it.’

She drove home feeling a mixture of furious and guilty, although her anger was more at the world in general than her pets. Maxim glared at her from the back seat while Dimo and Oggie hung their heads. Agatha parked in their driveway and stared at the house. She should get out, go inside, figure out something to say to make this all better. Instead she wanted to flop over the steering wheel and cry herself.

There was the click of a seatbelt and Oggie wiggled through between the seats, the way he had that first night, and climbed onto her lap. ‘Hy thott hyu wanted me,’ he said. ‘Novun did after Mizz Lulu died, but they vere —’ he waved his hand ‘—Hy knew.’

‘I _do_ want you,’ said Agatha. ‘But, I. You want to be with Dimo and Maxim, right?’

‘ _And_ hyu.’

‘No, I mean. You want to be with them. But if they were miserable all the time because of something you did, wouldn’t you think they might be happier elsewhere?’

‘Hy am heppy vit hyu. Hy _am_ ,’ Oggie told her.

Agatha didn’t think it was true. The seesaw of despair and elation he went through every time she left and returned couldn’t really be counted as happiness. And this new pressure, to be happy or risk being given away, was certainly not something she’d ever intended to put on him. ‘I’ll keep you,’ she said. ‘If it’s what you want. Whether you’re happy or not, if you’d rather be unhappy here…’ Maybe it wasn’t the best choice, children weren’t always the best judges of their own wellbeing, but more than anything he needed to not have it hanging over his head.

‘Hy vant to stay vit hyu foreffer,’ he said.

So that was that.


	6. The Mysterious Jägerpet

Deciding to keep them actually helped a lot, at least on Agatha’s side. Agatha had always been better at dealing with a problem head on once self-doubt was no longer an option. Research on how to deal with separation anxiety in both pets and children was the next thing she tried.

 _I don’t think the advice on pets is actually helping,_ she texted to Gil later in the week. _At least it explains why he curls up in my laundry, since it smells like me. But keeping him behind the pet gate and leaving for a few minutes at a time won’t help. He *knows* I’m still there._

_And for children?_

_Therapy and medication. Which would probably help a lot, but I don’t think a child psychiatrist is going to talk to a Jägerpet. I’ve been teaching him to tell the time so he knows when to expect me._

The clock in her bedroom was digital, so it wasn’t as if he even had to learn how to read a clock face. It seemed to help, a little, Dimo and Maxim said he was playing with them more until it got to within half an hour of her being expected home, so at least it was limiting the amount of time he spent that anxious.

 _Are you still planning on handing Vole over to the rescue?_ she’d asked another time.

_I don’t want to. The rescue probably won’t be able to place him. He’s too big to be a house pet and I think his previous owner taught him to get his way by intimidating them. But I may wind up looking for a new housing situation if I keep him._

Gil was in an odd position in her life, not exactly a friend, but a series of encouraging text messages from someone going through the same thing. Agatha wanted to meet him again and was nervous about doing so after last time. Even if that hadn’t actually been his fault at all.

By the next weekend she felt she’d settled into a new routine. Taking them to the park at six o’clock (whyyyyy had she made that part of her routine? She’d never been a morning person) to let them burn some energy. Spending the morning, afternoon or both at college, or quietly studying at home otherwise. If she was home the Jägerpets were allowed to draw at the table or play in the yard, but energetic indoors games were still limited to their bedroom. Going shopping after dinner every couple of days. Oggie often came with her, even though he’d have to wait in the car. Maxim and Dimo would just as soon stay at home if the alternative was sitting in the car for an hour, but Oggie took comfort in being able to go and find her if she was too long, despite Agatha impressing on him that it had better be _much_ too long before he tried it. Disaster could still strike, but at least there was a normal she could cope with.

For instance, right now she was vacuuming the boys’ room, while they played frisbee in the yard and caused no trouble at all. In fact, they were being really, really quiet.

Agatha walked over to the window and looked out. The game had stopped and the three of them were clustered around either a child or a fourth Jägerpet wearing a large purple hoodie. There seemed to be an argument in progress, or at least an intense discussion. All three of her Jägerpets used a lot of gestures when they spoke and they were doing it now, making sweeping, beckoning motions, the kind of gestures that looked like an attempt to persuade. Their companion stood with hands in pockets, unreadable. Agatha tried to open the window stealthily, but it creaked and everyone’s heads shot up. Agatha had a glimpse of a pale face mostly covered by a scarf wrapped over the mouth and nose and then the new person revealed themselves as a Jägerpet by casually scaling the hedge and dropping over the other side.

Agatha walked downstairs, deliberately slowly. Whoever it was had gone and she didn’t want to look like she was chasing.

‘Where did your friend go?’ she asked, leaning out of the patio doors.

‘Jenka dun like owners,’ Maxim said.

‘Does anyone feed her?’ Agatha asked.

Dimo shook his head, expression anxious. ‘She useta feed uz, sometimes.’

‘She wants uz to leave,’ Oggie added, hugging her leg as if to reassure her he wasn’t considering it. ‘She dun think hyu’s safe.’

‘I see. Well, I wouldn’t want to scare her more, but if she comes back she’s welcome to stay and play with you.’

Maxim startled her by throwing his arms around her and declaring, ‘Hyu iz the _best!_ ’

Which was how Jenka became a semi-regular presence in Agatha’s yard. She disappeared at the slightest hint Agatha was watching, but if Agatha was safely engaged on the other side of the house she’d start to hear a little girl’s voice raised in play. Once Agatha startled Jenka badly by running down full tilt because she’d seen a brown animal in the yard that her mind had parsed as _bear_. After Jenka fled, and the animal pushed its way through the hedge after her, Agatha realised it had been a Newfoundland.

‘Dot’s Füst,’ Oggie told her. ‘He iz Jenka’s best friend.’

Agatha started leaving a packed lunch and a bowl of dog food in the garden every day. Jenka’s continued wariness of her didn’t stop it from vanishing.


	7. What Dimo Is

The lunch with Gil happened a few weeks after Jenka’s appearance. That morning they’d taken a trip to the vet for a general examination and shots. The Jägerpets had all been very good, especially Maxim who had put up with having his hand poked for a long time only for the diagnosis to be that it likely couldn’t be fixed. So lunch out and ice cream had been well deserved. Having polished off toasted cheese sandwiches and chocolate sundaes, Maxim, Oggie and Vole were playing in the river. Dimo hovered, just visible sitting behind a tree near Agatha and Gil.

‘I do hope it’s warm enough,’ Agatha remarked. It was a colder day than last time, the human children in attendance were running around the grass but staying out of the water.

‘They’re pretty hardy,’ Gil said. ‘I wouldn’t worry.’

‘The official Jägerpet forums said they’re not very sensitive to temperature, unless it’s below freezing,’ Agatha said, frowning. ‘Have you been there?’

‘Not really,’ Gil replied. ‘I usually ask my father if I need to know something about them.’

‘It’s been useful for health and diet,’ said Agatha. ‘But I made a post there on Wednesday and got told I shouldn’t talk to them.’

‘That’s a new one,’ said Gil. ‘What, at all?’

Agatha ran a hand through her hair. ‘No, just about anything serious. Apparently I should remember to keep my expectations low and that it's mostly about tone of voice. I was asking how to talk to them about grief and anxiety — it’s not just Oggie,’ she waved at Dimo’s tree, ‘what sort of thing they can understand, whether books designed for helping children deal with these things can work for them. I got told not to anthropomorphise them and that they were probably reacting to environmental stressors. Someone recommended a trainer.’

Gil looked thoughtful. ‘Annoying, but they _are_ animals.’

‘Are they?’ Agatha’s voice was rising with frustration. ‘I’ve got a fridge covered in drawings. I’ve been asked for an opinion on Belle vs Elsa. Dimo listened in on a conversation, drew conclusions and made a plan. I know I was mad at him — yes, I know you’re eavesdropping now, Dimo, I don’t mind this time — but that’s abstract thinking. If they’ve been modified that far, are they really still animals?’

Dimo slipped out from behind his tree and walked over the bench, ears skewed in thought. After standing there solemnly for a moment he volunteered, ‘Hy’d like to be a person.’

‘ _Oh_ ,’ said Agatha, feeling as if she’d been stabbed in the chest. ‘That settles it then. You’re a person.’

Dimo smiled at her, pleased but wry. ‘Hy know Hy’m not really. People ken go in shops.’

‘People don’t let you in shops because they don’t _think_ you’re a person, but that doesn’t mean they’re _right_ ,’ said Agatha. Dimo was a smart, thoughtful child, he deserved better than to doubt his own personhood. He deserved better than to have _her_ doubt his personhood.

 _I know you didn’t want to upset Dimo,_ Gil texted later. _But even without uplifting some animals can reach the level of human toddlers. Parrots, for instance. And that’s not taking into account uplifted ones like Sprachehunds._

 _I wasn’t humouring him,_ Agatha texted back. _If he thinks he’s a person don’t you think that counts?_

_You don’t know how he’s defining person. It might just mean someone who’s allowed to go places he isn’t._

So it was out of a mixture of curiosity and annoyance with Gil that she sat Dimo down with her on the couch while the other two were in the yard and asked him what he thought a person was.

‘Sumvun more real,’ he said.

‘More real that you? How are they more real?’

Dimo frowned so hard his ears pulled down as he tried to find the words. ‘Real enuff to matter _all der time_.’

‘ _You_ matter all the time,’ Agatha told him.

‘Vell, hyu is nize,’ he told her. ‘People matters even if hyu isn’t. People doesn’t get forgotten.’

‘Did you get forgotten?’ Agatha asked, gently, putting an arm around him.

Dimo nodded, pained. ‘Dey alvays said Hy vos good for being qviet. Hy guess dot time Hy vos too qviet. Hy vos sittink down vhile dey took pitchurs, und Hy looked up und dey vos gone.’ He sniffled. ‘Hy tried to follow der trail, but Hy lost it, und Hy didn’t know vere to go.’

Agatha pulled him all the way onto her lap so she could hug him properly, relieved when he relaxed into it. ‘It’s not your fault. It’s not because you’re a pet, either, or not entirely. My mother… my father wouldn’t let her take me anywhere, back when he was alive, when I was a little girl, because he didn’t trust her to take care of me. She never bothers with me unless she wants something, even now, but just because she’s never seen me as a person doesn’t mean she’s right.’ Agatha bit her lip, a little startled at the bitterness there. ‘More people are wrong about you, but they’re still wrong.’

What’s more, she was going to prove it.


	8. The Jägerpet Who Reads

Agatha started with videos. Most people only owned one Jägerpet and while she’d payed the price for having three in broken vases and chewed slippers (that had been Maxim, although Dimo had done ninety percent of the apologising) it meant she got to see how they interacted with one another. Anyone who thought language wasn’t natural to them had never seen a heated argument about whether grass could be yellow (‘Sometimes in autumn,’ Agatha had told them, on being called in to arbitrate, ‘No, it’s never pink, but it’s your colouring book, you can colour it however you like.’).

The videos mostly got comments about how cute they were, or arguments about her ‘training them to act like that’, which at least acknowledged their behaviour as something that needed explaining, but Agatha persisted. After a while she noticed two people were liking every single video without ever commenting: Bosun_Higgs and Chump. Sometimes Agatha felt grateful for what seemed like approval, other times she was irritated with both of them. If they agreed with her, couldn’t they say something? The people who disagreed never shut up!

Then one day she logged onto the forums to find a PM from TStormboy titled ‘I think my Jägerpet can read’.

 _I’ve been looking after a Jägerpet for some people who lost their home,_ it read. _I’d been reading to him at bedtime and he’s started recognising words. He was bringing me packets with writing on and asking whether that was a word and what it said, so I’ve been teaching him the alphabet. He’s picking it up remarkably fast. I don’t think anyone else on the forum would believe me, and I’m not sure what to do, especially when he’s not really mine. Do you think we could meet up?_

Agatha suggested the sandwich bar Gil had introduced her to, not really knowing anywhere else they could meet up with Jägerpets in tow. It was raining, which meant waiting for him indoors, which also meant that bored Jägerpets had nowhere to play while they waited. Agatha was keeping an eye on Oggie’s attempt to befriend someone’s German Shepherd when she heard a commotion from behind the counter. A moment later the old man who ran the place came over with Maxim in his arms.

‘You should keep them out of the kitchen area, Miss,’ he said. ‘This one was after me hat.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Agatha said, mortified. ‘Maxim, apologise to the man.’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Maxim. ‘But it’s _purple_.’

‘That doesn’t mean it’s yours,’ said Agatha. ‘Really, I’m terribly sorry.’

The man chuckled. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve had kids cause as much trouble.’ He put Maxim down by the table. ‘Just call me when you want to order.’ He tipped the hat that Maxim had been after to her and went back to the kitchen.

The front door opened and a young man walked in with a Jägerpet holding his hand. Agatha smiled and waved to get his attention even as she looked them over. The man was wearing the kind of clothes that looked casual at first glance and then probably expensive at a second, with tiny pince-nez perched on his nose and shockingly red hair pulled back in a ponytail. The Jägerpet could almost have passed for a child, if not for the pointed ears and teeth. He was brown, wearing a well-tailored green suit. It looked much more like the stuff people online dressed their Jägerpets up in for photographs than the supermarket clothes Agatha’s wore, the only one of hers whose clothes stood out was Maxim and that was because he was wearing a t-shirt with sparkly butterflies on it and pink glittery hairclips, but the Jägerpet seemed comfortable in it.

The man came over to their table and offered Agatha his hand to shake, ‘Hello. I’m Tarvek Sturmvorous. TStormboy.’

‘Agatha Heterodyne,’ she said, shaking it. ‘These are Maxim, Dimo and Oggie.’

‘Hy’m Jorgi,’ said the Jägerpet, before Tarvek could introduce him. ‘Hy saw hyu videos,’ he added, addressing the Jägerpets rather than Agatha. ‘Hyu gots nize toys, Hy like hyu plasticine.’

Oggie beamed and pulled a T-rex with a chewed up tail out of his pocket. ‘Hyu vant to play?’

‘You can play, but sit down while you do it, and think about what sandwiches you want,’ Agatha said.

‘Hy like hyu suit,’ Maxim said, touching one of Jorgi’s sleeves.

Jorgi looked proud. ‘Tarvek mekked it.’

‘Did you really?’ said Agatha. ‘I assumed it was from one of the specialist shops.’

Tarvek looked shyly pleased. ‘The specialist ones didn’t seem like they’d last that long, despite being designed for Jägerpets. Making clothes is a bit of a hobby.’

‘You did a very good job,’ Agatha told him. She picked up the menu. ‘Okay, options are, ham and — uh?’ Jorgi had suddenly popped up under her arm.

‘He wants to see the words,’ said Tarvek.

Jorgi nodded and pointed to the top of the menu. ‘Ham?’

‘Oh, no, here,’ Agatha pointed to the section she’d been reading, then moved her finger along as she continued. ‘Ham and cheese.’ Agatha wasn’t sure whether Jorgi’s rapt attention to the menu meant he _could_ read, but he definitely knew what reading _was_ and was attempting it with great determination.

‘You see what I mean,’ said Tarvek, while they were waiting for their order. ‘I was reading him fairy tales and he started doing that.’

‘I hadn’t even thought of reading to mine,’ said Agatha.

‘I wasn’t really expecting him to pay so much attention,’ Tarvek said. ‘I suppose it’s silly, but I’ve always liked fairy tales. It was nice to have someone to read them to.’

‘Not silly at all,’ said Agatha. ‘And the result’s fascinating. What do your friends think? His owners?’

‘They’re not exactly friends,’ said Tarvek. ‘They just needed someone to look after him and I —’

‘Tarvek saved mine life!’ Jorgi butted in.

‘ _What?_ ’ Agatha looked at Tarvek, who looked almost sheepish about it.

‘Vos a fire,’ said Jorgi, spreading his arms out to indicate how big it had been. ‘It vos so hot, Hy climbed up to get avay from it, but effrything vos so grey und Hy couldn’t breath, it hurt.’

‘He’d curled up on top of the wardrobe,’ said Tarvek. ‘The smoke was suffocating him. I’d caught sight of him through the window and I thought it was a child at the time — not that I’m not very glad I saved you,’ he added hastily.

‘He kem und got me,’ Jorgi confirmed. ‘Effen though he got burned. He effen save the ferrets.’

Tarvek hid his face in his hands. ‘They were right there.’

‘Und now he iz lookink after uz,’ Jorgi finished.

‘The ferrets too?’ Agatha asked, wanting to laugh even though it wasn’t really funny. Tarvek just seemed so embarrassed to have been caught doing something heroic.

‘I agreed to look after their pets until they found a new house,’ said Tarvek.

‘Iz goot vit Tarvek!’ said Jorgi. ‘I haff a bed!’

‘Ve gots a bed too, vit Mizz Agatha,’ Dimo said.

‘You were very brave,’ said Agatha, to Tarvek. ‘And I’m glad you’re taking care of him.’

Lunch arrived and for a while conversation turned to other things. Especially among the Jägerpets, who had three plastic dinosaurs and a pony to take on adventures all over the table. Agatha pulled out her phone and started filming almost automatically, before looking at Tarvek and saying, ‘You don’t mind?’

‘I don’t, but you’d probably need his owners’ permission,’ Tarvek told her.

‘Oh, right.’ Agatha slipped her phone back into her bag and went back to her sandwich.

‘Do you think it’s all right,’ Tarvek asked, a little later. ‘Teaching him to read?’

‘I don’t see how it could be wrong when he obviously _wants_ to read,’ said Agatha. ‘He clearly knows his own mind.’

Tarvek laughed. ‘I can’t deny that.’

Afterwards, when she and Tarvek were about to go their separate ways, they ran into a problem. ‘Hy dun vanna go,’ Jorgi said, tearfully. ‘Hy vanna play more.’

Jägerpets were usually kept alone, and nearly always by people who didn’t have children. But even seeing how close hers were, Agatha hadn’t thought about that situation as lonely before.

‘You can come and see us again,’ she said, before looking at Tarvek. ‘That is, if Tarvek’s okay with it.’

‘I’d love to. In fact, you should come over to my house next time, if you’d like. I’ve got plenty of room.’ Tarvek smiled at her. ‘It would be good to see you again.’

Agatha wondered whether it wasn’t just Jorgi that was lonely and hoping to make a new friend. ‘That would be lovely.’


	9. Jägerpets Visit Tarvek

Colder weather brought new concerns. Agatha shopped for winter clothes for her boys online so they could choose their own, but only Maxim remained interested for more than five minutes, winding up with a brightly coloured selection and a purple trilby hat he refused to take off indoors. Agatha bought the warmest, most waterproof coat she could find to leave out with Jenka’s packed lunch, and was relieved when it disappeared. Rounds of sandwiches in those lunches were replaced by pasties in layers of foil to keep them warm. Agatha developed a habit of working in her bedroom instead of in the living room and a strange blindness to muddy pawprints on the carpet afterwards. It wasn’t much, and once the weather really turned cold it wasn’t going to be enough, but she was afraid of losing the chance to help Jenka altogether if she pushed.

The other problem was Oggie’s feet. Until now he’d run around barefoot, since those huge, two-toed feet could hardly fit in shoes.

_What do you do at the rescue for Jägers with odd shaped feet?_ she texted Gil.

_Thick woolly socks under latex swim socks,_ Gil texted back. _It’s not ideal, but it keeps them warm and dry. Buy the swim socks for ages 10-12 and they fit over most feet. We’ve got volunteers who knit odd-shaped socks. I’ll put you in touch._

Agatha would not have expected the town to contain half a dozen old ladies who met regularly for tea, gossip and an afternoon knitting odd-shaped socks for Jägers. They cooed over Oggie while they measured his feet and he took to them just as quickly. They reminded him of Miss Lulu, who had also been a nice old lady.

Tarvek offered a different solution.

‘I’ve made shoes before,’ he said, when Agatha mentioned it over the phone. ‘I could try making some for him.’

‘Are you sure?’ Agatha asked. ‘It’s a lot of effort.’

‘It’s interesting,’ Tarvek said. ‘I could at least take a mould when you come over for that visit.’

The visit was intimidating Agatha a bit. Not that Tarvek scared her, but she was pretty sure he had money, and somehow it was more intimidating to think she’d be visiting a _nice_ house. She decided that wearing a nice dress would help and pulled out a green and red one she’d treated herself to a while ago. Maxim also wore a nice dress, a red jersey one, over black leggings (his previous owners seemed to have dressed him in whatever they thought was cute, leaving him with no idea clothing was normally gendered, and Agatha didn’t see any reason to tell him), and, of course, his beloved hat. The other two never cared what they wore, so Agatha put them in the smartest clothes they had.

The journey was just long enough that Agatha was teaching them twenty questions to stop them arguing when they arrived. It was, indeed, a very nice house. Agatha’s own financial situation was pretty good, and she’d considered herself lucky to be able to rent a house rather than an apartment, especially without needing a house mate. It was being able to rent from a family friend, Dr Beetle, that allowed it, really. This house was twice the size of Agatha’s and it was either not a rental, or an unusually well-kept one.

Jorgi popped out of the door as soon as Tarvek opened it. ‘Hi!’ he said. ‘Hy’ve been waitink for hyu!’

‘Come on in,’ said Tarvek. ‘Would you like a cup of tea? I’ve got juice for the Jägerpets.’

Jorgi had more of the toys made specially for Jägerpets, which included some very robust chew toys, but otherwise mostly looked like the kind of toys you’d find in a high-end toy shop. More leather and wood, less rubber dinosaurs and plastic. There were also some easy reader books lying around. While Jorgi showed off his possessions, Agatha and Tarvek had tea and chatted. Afterwards, Tarvek suggested that Jorgi take Dimo and Maxim up to his room. ‘Oggie, we need you for a bit,’ he said. ‘Then you can go and join them.’

What they needed Oggie for was taking casts of his feet. Tarvek explained he’d make lasts out of them, which he could mould the pattern on. This involved two shoe boxes of gloopy alginate and Oggie sitting _very still_ with his feet in them. He did not want to sit still. The feeling of the alginate on his feet fascinated him, but not enough to stop him squirming around in the chair and asking if it was nearly done _yet_.

It was, in fact, nearly done, when there was a crash from upstairs followed by the irregular sound of things being bumped into.

‘Oggie, stay there,’ Agatha said, hastily, and ran upstairs with Tarvek on her heels.

Maxim and Jorgi were a scuffling ball of fists and teeth, while Dimo was helplessly trying to pull them apart. ‘Maxim, stop, ve’s gun be in trouble!’ he was saying. Agatha grabbed Maxim, who nearly bit her before realising and stopping himself, while Tarvek picked Jorgi up. Both Jägerpets were snarling but looked thankfully unbitten.

‘ _What_ was this about?’ said Agatha, injecting enough disapproval into her voice that Maxim stopped snarling and looked sheepish.

‘He stood on _mine hat_ ,’ he said, pointing at the trilby, which was looking very dented in the middle.

Jorgi wriggled in Tarvek’s grip. ‘He said Hy vos borink!’

‘Hy deedn’t! Hy said Tarvek must think hyu izn’t borink!’

‘Hyu said mine owners find me borink, but they say Hy’m schmott! Hyu dun know them!’

‘Okay,’ said Agatha. She sat Maxim down on Jorgi’s bed and picked up the trilby, pushing it back into shape and putting it on Maxim’s head. ‘There, the hat is fine. Dimo? What happened?’

Dimo shuffled anxiously. ‘Maxim said dot Tarvek must find Jorgi more interestink than his owners do.’

‘Because he haff a crate!’ Maxim said, pointing. ‘He _said_ they put him in it, bot Tarvek dun’t.’

The crate looked like the kind you’d use to crate train a large dog. There would be room for a Jägerpet to stretch out in it, so it was hardly cramped, but Agatha couldn’t imagine putting any of hers in a crate.

‘His owners suggested putting him in it at night,’ said Tarvek, letting go of Jorgi now he’d stopped trying to pull away. ‘But it felt strange, and I’ve got plenty of room. It’s in here in case Jorgi wants to go inside it.’

‘Yah,’ said Jorgi. ‘Novun iz allowed to bother me in mine crate.’

‘So he mostly uses it when he’s mad at me,’ Tarvek said, drily.

Maxim shook his head. ‘Crates iz for when people iz bored of hyu,’ he insisted.

At that moment Oggie ran in. ‘Vot heppened?’ he said. ‘Iz effryvun okay?’

‘Oggie, you were meant to wait,’ said Agatha.

‘It’s probably fine,’ Tarvek said hastily. ‘It was nearly done anyway.’

‘But vot heppened?’ Oggie repeated. ‘Dimo, iz anyvun in trouble?’

Dimo looked at Agatha, who shook her head. ‘No one’s in trouble,’ she said. ‘But, Maxim, you should apologise to Jorgi. It’s not nice to say things like that about someone else’s owners.’

Maxim kicked his feet against the leg of the bed and looked at Jorgi. ‘Hyu owners is really nize?’

‘ _Yez_ ,’ said Jorgi.

‘…Then Hy’m sorry.’

Jorgi looked rather taken aback and then said, ‘…Hy’m sorry Hy stood on hyu hat.’

‘Good boys,’ said Agatha. ‘Now, can you all play together nicely?’

‘Yez, Mizz Agatha,’ came in ragged chorus, and Agatha suppressed her sigh of relief until she was back in the kitchen.

‘You dealt with that really well,’ Tarvek told her.

‘Practice,’ said Agatha, rubbing her hand through her hair. ‘I _am_ sorry about Maxim.’

‘They made up pretty quickly,’ Tarvek said.

‘Thank goodness,’ agreed Agatha.

‘And these moulds look like they’re going to be fine.’

‘Thank goodness for that too, I don’t think we could get Oggie to sit still twice in a row,’ Agatha said.

The Jägerpets did manage to play together nicely for the rest of the visit. To the point that Jorgi didn’t want them to leave and was eager to invite them back again.

‘You’re welcome anytime,’ Tarvek told Agatha, apparently as forgiving as Jorgi of the earlier scuffle. ‘I’ll call you to let you know how the boots are going, too.’


	10. Jägerpets Trick-or-Treat

‘Ken Hy be a vampire?’ Maxim asked at dinner one night. When Agatha looked blank he elaborated. ‘For Halloween. Hy vants a cape.’

‘Oh! Yes, you can dress up as a vampire if you want, but —’ Agatha stopped herself. She’d been about to say pets couldn’t go trick or treating, but in the dark, in costume, who would be able to tell? Wouldn’t that make an interesting video? One where people treated them like human children and they reacted to that. ‘What about you two?’ she said, instead. ‘Do you want to dress up for Halloween? I might have some ideas.’

They helped her make Oggie’s costume, and the table spent days under newspaper covered in glue and paint. They made a papier-mâche horn to match Oggie’s real one, wrapping crumpled newspaper around wire for a base, and big papier-mâche hooves to cover his real feet, a spade shaped tail of wire and felt completed the demon look. Maxim’s vampire outfit was easier to buy, and Dimo’s zombie outfit only required asking around for worn out children’s clothes and then cutting them raggedly.

Facepaint on the day — red for Oggie, white for Maxim, and a few scars and cuts daubed onto Dimo — completed the look. They congregated in the hall, gripping their buckets tightly, giggling with excitement.

‘Now, stay close to me,’ she said. ‘If you do get lost, stay still, I’ll come back for you very soon.’

They nodded, sobered by the thought of getting lost, but even Dimo seemed too excited to be daunted for long.

Outside they blended into every other group of trick-or-treaters chaperoned by a parent or older sibling. The Jägerpets clung to her at first, claws snagging at her skirt, but were soon distracted by the groups of children dressed as monsters. It was Oggie who first tried yelling a cheerful ‘hello’ to another group and all of them were emboldened when it was shouted back. Soon they were shouting back and forth about where to go for candy, who was handing out full-sized candy bars. Trying to take in all the halloween decorations pulled them away from her, as they ran to catch a glimpse of a skeleton or bat before running back. Oggie nearly got left behind three times, but filming them was a good way to keep a close eye on them all and Agatha duly retrieved him.

‘Vhy the bug pitchurs?’ he asked, pointing to the spider decal on a window. ‘They’s not giffing them out.’

‘Bugs? Did you want them to be?’

Oggie considered that for a moment. ‘Candy’s goot too,’ he said.

‘Don’t eat all of it now,’ Agatha cautioned, looking down at chocolate stained fangs. ‘You’ll be ill.’

If they were ill, Agatha thought it might be from excitement as much as candy. They squealed and giggled at houses that had fixed doors to swing open by themselves, or at costumed house owners lurking in the dark. Maxim spun and swirled his cloak, flourishes more extravagant each time, for everyone who admired their costumes. Their energy only seemed to get more frenetic as the evening drew on, but the streets were starting to empty and Agatha was thinking it was time to go home.

‘One last house,’ she told them, after they’d chorused ‘thenk hyu’ to an old man handing out candy corn. Agatha knew where she was going for this one.

It was a run down apartment building, but someone had put a lit pumpkin outside to attract trick-or-treaters, and there were bat stickers on the buzzer for number 3. Agatha pressed it and when Gil’s voice said, ‘Hello?’ she signalled the Jägerpets.

‘Trick or treat!’ they shouted, making the last time count.

‘Treat,’ said Gil. ‘I’ll be right out with it.’

He arrived wearing wobbly antennae shaped like bats, with a bowl of chocolates in one arm, and did a double take when he saw who it was at the door, before bursting out laughing. ‘Oh, wow. Nice costumes.’

Maxim flourished his cape so hard he nearly fell over. ‘Hy’m a vampire!’ he said.

‘So I see. I love the cape.’ Gil pushed the door wider and stepped back. ‘Why don’t you guys come in? Do you want a coffee, Agatha?’

‘That would be lovely,’ Agatha said. She was cold and tired, now that she thought about it, and maybe stopping off at Gil’s before going home would give the Jägers a chance to wind down.

Agatha hadn’t been to Gil’s apartment before, although she’d known the address. It was small and a little sad. Gil invited them into a combined living room-kitchen with waterstained walls and cheap furniture that already showed signs of having been mended. Vole looked up from where he’d been lying in the kitchen area building a tower with plastic cups.

‘Vole!’ Maxim launched himself across the room. ‘Look, look, I’m a vampire.’

‘Und Hy’m a demon!’ Oggie said, running after him, a little awkward in his hooves.

Vole sniffed at them and then made a grab for Oggie’s candy. ‘Hyu ken haff some, but hyu haff to ask first,’ Oggie said, making Agatha suppress a giggle because he sounded like her.

‘Candy, please?’ Vole said.

‘Good,’ said Oggie, unwrapping a few chocolates and handing them over.

‘Gil, is giving him chocolate okay?’ Agatha asked.

‘It’s fine, just don’t give him all of it,’ said Gil. ‘And thanks for not letting him grab,’ he told Oggie, pausing to ruffle his hair. ‘You’re doing a better job training him than I am.’

A little later Agatha was showing Gil the Halloween video over coffee and the Jägers were contentedly munching candy. Maxim looked up from where he was sprawled half on top of Vole and said, ‘Vhy is hyu house ugly?’

‘ _Maxim_ ,’ said Agatha.

‘It’s not that bad,’ said Gil. ‘They wouldn’t let me keep Vole somewhere pretty.’

‘Must be hard not to break things ven hyu’s so big,’ Dimo said, thoughtfully.

Vole bit one of the cups. ‘Need strong things,’ he said.

‘Iz hyu gun trade him for a smaller vun so hyu ken liff somevhere pretty again?’ Maxim asked.

Vole dropped the cup and pushed Maxim off so he could run over and bury his face against Gil’s leg. Gil stroked his hair. ‘Of course not!’ he said.

‘Maxim, what?’ said Agatha. ‘That’s… you’ve upset Vole!’

Maxim shrugged. ‘It heppens. Hyu Jägerpet ruins enuff things, iz tiresome, hyu get rid ov dem, mebbe get a new vun.’

‘It definitely… I mean, I suppose it _sometimes_ happens, but that doesn’t mean _Gil_ would… oh, come here.’ Maxim came over warily, not sure whether she was angry, but she pulled him onto her lap and hugged him because it had obviously happened to him. ‘You do know not everyone’s like that? You know I wouldn’t get rid of any of you.’

‘Hyu’s nize and Dimo stops uz breaking too much,’ said Maxim. ‘So hyu probly von’t get tired of uz for a long time.’

‘ _Ever_ ,’ she said, firmly. ‘I won’t get tired of you _ever_ , no matter how many things you break.’ Dimo and Oggie darted across the room at that, to throw themselves onto her lap as well.

‘And I won’t get tired of you,’ Gil said, softly, still petting Vole.

Agatha shared a sad smile with him over their heads.


	11. What Maxim Feels

Agatha was woken up that night by someone tugging on the cover. She rolled over and turned on the bedroom light to find Maxim standing by her bed, pale in the lamplight with cheeks flushed fuschia.

‘Are you okay, sweetie? Did you have a bad dream?’

He shook his head. ‘Ken’t sleep.’

Agatha pushed back the cover. ‘Come here.’ He crawled into the bed and curled up against her, warm but shivering. Agatha pressed the back of her hand against his forehead, but it didn’t feel hot. ‘Do you feel ill? Does your tummy hurt?’

‘No.’ He said, muffled against her chest. ‘Hy…’ And then he started crying, shivers turning into sobs.

Agatha wrapped her arms around him. ‘Can you tell me what’s wrong?’

‘Hy dun _know_.’

‘Oh. Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay, you don’t have to know.’

He gulped down a sob, trying to cry quietly, probably worried about waking the others. ‘Hyu iz nize. Hyu iz so nize,’ he whispered. ‘Dun be mad… Zumtimez. Zumetimez Hy miss Shelly und Brad. Hy vant. Hy vant dem to come beck und tell my Hy’m pretty und dress me up and tek pictures.’ He choked on a sound half wail, half growl. ‘Und zometimez Hy vanna _rip them faces off_.’

It was frightening, that anger, eyes flashing through his tears. Even in someone so small, she’d seen the strength he could muster, she could imagine those beartrap teeth that were now bared in anger closing in soft flesh. But he seemed to have frightened himself too, hiding his face against Agatha’s chest a moment later, and she felt only a momentary qualm at the closeness of those teeth.

‘I’m not mad,’ Agatha said. ‘Or not at you. At Shelly and Brad, for abandoning you like that.’

‘Dey vere good sometimes.’

‘Are you frightened?’ Agatha asked. ‘Because they were good sometimes, so it feels like me being good doesn’t mean anything?’

He was quiet for a long time and Agatha wondered if he hadn’t understood, or even if she was suggesting things to him that he otherwise wouldn’t have worried about.

‘Mebbe yez,’ he muttered. ‘Hy _vant_ good.’

‘You deserve good,’ said Agatha. ‘From me. You deserved it from them, too.’

‘Hy didn’t _get_ it. Not foreffer.’

‘I know.’ Agatha stroked his back. ‘I can’t make you trust me.’ She wished she could, for his sake more than hers. If she could make him be certain of his place here (if she hadn’t screwed up by thinking about handing Oggie over to a rescue to begin with, if he hadn’t known already that betrayal had been possible). ‘You don’t have to trust me. You can be scared and angry and… and maybe things will get easier. But I won’t be mad about you having feelings.’

He closed his eyes, still quivering against her and too tense for sleep. ‘Ken Hy stay here?’

‘Of course.’ Agatha tried to think back to what her uncle would have done, to nights when she’d been the stressed child in someone else’s bed. ‘How about I tell you a story?’

‘Yez.’

‘Okay.’ She sleepily cast around for classics and didn’t question the wisdom of where her mind settled until she’d already begun. ‘Once upon a time, there was a girl called Cinderella, who lived with her stepmother and two wicked stepsisters…’

Maxim listened, chewing drowsily on her duvet cover, rapt at the story. Agatha found herself describing the ball as a masquerade, her head full of laughing children in costumes, thinking of Cinderella accepted by those who wouldn’t even have looked at her in her servant dress. But the prince knew it was her, even with her costume gone, guessed even before he insisted on having her try the shoe.

‘…And they lived happily ever after,’ Agatha finished.

‘Really foreffer?’ Maxim asked.

‘Really,’ said Agatha.

‘And the prince alvays luffed her?’

Agatha kissed his forehead. ‘He always did.’

Maxim closed his eyes, frowing slightly, but gradually the lines smoothed away and he was finally asleep after his long day. Agatha needed sleep after hers, too, but for a little while she propped herself up on one elbow and watched Maxim sleep.


	12. Martellus Dislikes Jägerpets

Maxim asked to be taken over to apologise to Vole the next day. Gil let them drop in on the way back from the park. Maxim marched up to Vole and said, ‘Hy vos mean yesterday. Hy’m sorry. Hy brought you a pony.’ And startled Agatha by pulling a My Little Pony out of his coat pocket that was almost the same light blue as Vole.

Vole took it carefully in his large, clumsy hands, and then hugged Maxim. Maxim was rather engulfed, but he didn’t seem unnerved (Agatha was, a little bit, but even little Jägerpets were strong), and hugged back.

Perhaps it was because he still felt guilty, or grateful to have been forgiven, or perhaps that was just how it started, but Maxim started to pay more attention to Vole when Gil and Agatha met up. More than once he broke off from a game Vole couldn’t play, or tried to teach him the skills to join in. The sight of Maxim sitting on Vole’s shoulder and patiently trying to teach him to throw a frisbee was ridiculous levels of cute and duly found its way online.

Agatha was still finding herself embroiled in arguments a lot, but she was also quietly picking up supporters as people shared incidents in the comments that usually started, ‘my Jägerpet did something like that’. Her lurkers were still silent. Agatha had followed their names and found that Chump’s account was a few years old and he only ever commented to give abrupt and practical advice. He’d weigh in on which medicines were safe to give Jägerpets, for instance (most of them), or on the official Jägerchow vs human food (the Jägerchow was nutritious but boring, it didn’t do them any harm but they were more likely to steal food or eat insects if they weren’t getting something interesting at meals). Bosun_Higgs’ account was, at five years old, as old as the site itself, and he’d never commented on anything.

She woke up one morning to find her account deleted and her access to the site blocked.

‘Yes, they’ve taken all your posts down,’ Tarvek told her. ‘I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.’

‘I didn’t break their Terms of Service,’ Agatha said.

‘You accused a company of selling people on their own site. Of course they weren’t going to let it stand once people started taking you seriously.’

It made Agatha feel naive that she’d thought… what? That because the company might not have known it had made people it would turn around, apologise and stop selling them? She’d barely thought about the company at all, she’d been focussed on the owners. ‘Where do Jägerpets come from, anyway?’ she asked. ‘They sell the chow and run the forums, but I’m not sure I’ve even heard their name.’

‘My cousin might know,’ said Tarvek, reluctantly. ‘He runs a designer pet shop.’

‘I’d like to meet him,’ Agatha said.

‘Are you sure? He’s a jerk.’ Tarvek sighed. ‘There’s a reason I avoid my family.’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Agatha. ‘I’d still like to meet him, though. You could just give me his address.’

‘No, if you’re going to meet him I’ll come,’ Tarvek said.

In the meantime Agatha uploaded all the videos to YouTube under the name JagerpetsArePeople. Almost immediately she received a PM from Bosun_Higgs containing screencaps of all the comments on her videos from the forum. It contained nothing else and when Agatha clicked on his username she found he didn’t post on YouTube, either.

Agatha and Tarvek didn’t take the Jägerpets to visit Tarvek’s cousin, despite Agatha’s continuing attempts to leave Oggie alone as little as possible. This was a little serious, and they might understand more than was good for them. Instead, Tarvek offered to have Agatha’s three at his place and hired a sitter. It didn’t allay Oggie’s anxieties, which were more about having Agatha away than being without an adult, but he’d been getting a better handle on them and Agatha made sure he had a clock he could read.

‘The Refuge of Storms,’ Agatha read, looking at the big gold letters above the door. ‘That’s a very dramatic name for a pet shop.’

Tarvek rolled his eyes. ‘We’re a very dramatic family.’

They went in. Inside did not look much like Agatha’s idea of a pet shop. Mostly it looked like a living room decorated by someone who got his decorating tips from Louis XIV. There was a lot of gilt and the floor was marble — which probably _was_ easy to clean, but Agatha had been expecting tile. There was a large fireplace with something sprawled in front of it that looked like someone had crossed a Tibetan Mastiff with an actual lion. A gold, curlicued cage held half a dozen pastel coloured bears the size of hamsters. One stood on its back legs and trilled like a songbird. A red-gold animal like a parrot with a peacock’s tail was dozing on a perch. There were two more definite dogs sitting by one of the plush armchairs arranged around the place. In the chair was a large man with Tarvek’s colouring.

‘Cousin Tarvek,’ he said. ‘You did mention you might drop by. Who’s your friend?’

‘Agatha Heterodyne,’ said Agatha.

He stood up to shake hands. ‘Martellus von Blitzengaard,’ he said.

‘Pleased to meet you,’ Agatha looked around, curious. ‘I was expecting more animals in a pet shop.’

‘Only the cabearies are for sale directly,’ he said. ‘What I do is more a matter of sourcing. If you know what you’re interested in, I can find it for you. If you don’t know, I can advise.’

‘I’m interested in Jägerpets,’ said Agatha.

Martellus pulled away. ‘Really? I don’t recommend them.’ He gave Tarvek a look. ‘And you don’t know anything about animals, so don’t go around recommending them to people just because you got landed with one.’

‘What’s wrong with Jägerpets?’ Agatha asked, sweetly.

‘They’re a lot of work. If you want apes, then aero-apes are smaller and easier to manage. If you want smart and talking, Sprachehunds are a better choice. Easier to train, less temperamental.’

‘Like me,’ said one of the dogs, sitting up on its haunches. Agatha looked more closely and saw the opposable fingers on its paws.

‘Like you, Tybalt,’ Martellus agreed. ‘If you want cute, there are a number of pets on the market.’ He gave her a disdainful look. ‘And if you want kids, you should just have some.’

‘Kids,’ she said. ‘You think they’re kids?’

‘They’re creepy things,’ Martellus said. ‘Too close to being kids. I don’t like them.’

‘I already have some,’ Agatha told him. ‘And I don’t find them creepy at all. Although I agree that they’re very like children. What I _want_ to know is where they’re coming from and how they’re being produced.’

Martellus looked at her, measuringly. ‘The company’s called Golden Orb. They don’t produce any designer pets aside from Jägerpets, so I’ve never dealt with them. They don’t make their production methods public.’

‘Is that shady?’ Agatha asked.

‘No one wants knock offs being produced,’ said Martellus. ‘It’s pretty normal.’ There was definite malice when he added, ‘Tarvek’s father might know more.’

‘What?’ said Tarvek. ‘Father’s never cared about pets in the slightest. Or children, for that matter. Why would he know?’

‘He phoned me up last year, drunk and insisting I could put him in touch with Golden Orb’s CEO.’

‘Now I believe the company’s shady,’ said Tarvek.

‘If our family knows something about it it almost has to be,’ said Martellus. ‘Now, if you’re not buying anything?’

‘Yes, thank you for your time,’ said Agatha. ‘You’ve been very gracious to talk to us,’ she added, with definite sarcasm.

‘Are you and Martellus both avoiding your entire family including each other?’ she asked on the drive home.

‘Yes,’ said Tarvek. ‘If you knew my family you’d understand. Please don’t ask to talk to my father, Martellus is one thing, but…’

‘I won’t ask,’ said Agatha, thinking of her mother and what it would take to make Agatha willingly get in touch with her. ‘At least I have a name now. Golden Orb.’


	13. The Jägerpet Rescue

Agatha answered the phone one evening to find Gil on the other end. ‘Hey. That Jägerpet you’ve been leaving food out for. Little grey girl?’

‘I don’t know, I’ve never seen her up close. Why?’

‘I think I just saw her buying a sweater.’

‘ _What?_ ’ said Agatha.

‘Hey, _you’re_ the one who says they’re people,’ said Gil. ‘I was in a charity shop trying to find something cheap for Vole. I think she smelled him on me, because she was startled enough to look at me, and I could see grey skin and lilac eyes under her hood.’

‘No one else noticed?’

‘She kept her head down. I tried not to let on _I’d_ noticed.’ Gil paused. ‘Although possibly I should have tried to take her to the rescue.’

‘No, if it was Jenka you’d have scared her,’ said Agatha. ‘But where did she get money?’

‘Stole it, I expect,’ said Gil. ‘I’m more surprised she knew how to spend it.’

Agatha was surprised by a flush of guilt. Should she have left a sweater out for Jenka? Money? The immediate feeling of _my child has been reduced to stealing_ was ridiculous, she hadn’t even _met_ Jenka. She might be increasingly more parent than pet owner to the others, but to Jenka she was just a source of food.

‘I wouldn’t have expected that either,’ she said. ‘I’ve never tried to explain money to mine.’ Although if they _could_ understand money, maybe she should think about an allowance. For Dimo and Maxim, especially, anything that gave them a bit of control over their lives could help. ‘I wonder if I should talk to Jenka? I don’t want to scare her, but she’s clearly very smart.’

‘Yeah,’ said Gil. ‘I’ve been watching your videos, and you made some good points, but that…’

‘Oh,’ said Agatha, smugly. ‘So you believe me now?’

‘I might. Vole’s been behaving differently too, since spending more time around yours. I’d been working on his vocabulary, but he seems to pick it up faster from Maxim.’ He paused. ‘My Dad’s back in town for a few days. If Jägerpets act differently in groups, then my parents _must_ have noticed something, with taking in several at a time at the rescue. I thought if it was true they’d have _told_ me.’

‘Are you going to talk to them about it?’

‘Would _you_ like to talk to them about it?’

‘I think I would,’ said Agatha. Even if she might be being invited to a family argument. ‘Should I find someone to watch the Jägerpets?’

‘You could bring them and leave them at the rescue while we have dinner. That’s what I’m doing with Vole.’

‘Gil. If I leave them at a rescue while I go out I’m just _asking_ for misunderstandings.’ She felt a tug on her skirt and looked down to see Oggie there. He gave her a thumbs up. ‘…I think I’ve just been reassured that they understand. Okay. Meeting is on.’

When she put the phone down, Oggie asked, ‘Iz Jenka hokay?’

‘She’s fine,’ said Agatha, trying to remember how much he’d have got from one side of the phone call. ‘Gil just saw her buying a sweater. I’m going to go and meet Gil’s parents, if you guys are okay with it you can stay at the rescue while I talk to them and meet the other Jägerpets there.’

‘Iz Vole coming?’ Maxim asked.

‘Yeah,’ said Agatha. ‘He’s stayed there before.’

Maxim and Oggie turned to look at Dimo, in one of those moments that left Agatha both worried about the amount of responsibility he took on and uncomfortably jealous that they trusted his judgement more than hers. Dimo nodded. ‘Sounds fine.’

The rescue turned out to be a fairly unremarkable family house with a Winnebago parked in its drive. It looked like it could use painting and its side gate had six feet of mesh above it, but otherwise it didn’t stand out. Agatha got the kids out of the car and went up to ring the doorbell. It was opened by girl with a skull bindi who looked a bit older than Agatha. ‘Hey, Wulfenbach Rescue,’ she said. ‘You here to dump ‘em?’

‘No!’ said Agatha. ‘I’m here with Gil… is Gil here?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ said the girl, then turned and bellowed into the house. ‘Hey, Gil! Your girlfriend’s here!’

There was a volley of barking and then Gil ran down the stairs two at a time to meet them in the hallway. ‘ _Thank you_ , Bang. Go help Gritha with the dogs.’

‘Volunteer?’ Agatha asked, watching the girl saunter upstairs.

Gil rolled his eyes. ‘I wish. That way maybe she’d leave. She came here on a community service thing and my Dad refuses to stop employing her and let her return to her life of crime.’

‘Oh,’ said Agatha.

Gil looked down at the Jägerpets clustered around Agatha’s legs. ‘Hey, guys. Do you want to come and meet the others?’

The Jägerpets glanced at one another and then nodded.

‘I was expecting it to be bigger,’ Agatha remarked, trying to see up the stairs.

‘We have a network of fosterers,’ Gil explained as he took them towards the back of the house, ‘So pets kept here are usually either new pick-ups or about to go to a new home.’

When Gil pushed open the door to the back room he was nearly knocked over by Vole running into him. Gil took a step back with his arms reaching behind him and bounced himself off the opposite wall. ‘Steady on, there. Don’t you like it here?’ Vole held up a plasticine blob. ‘Oh, I see. Very nice. Next time show me without trying to knock me over.’

Gil herded Vole back into the room and Agatha could now see the four Jägerpets sitting on the floor playing with the plasticine. There wasn’t any furniture in here, although there were some old bits of gym equipment that looked like they might have been thrown away by an Elementary School, and the floor was carpeted with rubber mats. Three of the Jägerpets were green, one with a long nose and big ears that twitched as he worked, and one was blond with colouring like Oggie.

‘There are Gorb, Minsk, Zudok and Stosh,’ Gil said. ‘And these are Oggie, Maxim and Dimo.’

Oggie walked into the room, looking around curiously, and then beamed at the small group on the floor. ‘Hi! Iz goot to meet hyu!’

‘Hyu too,’ said the blond one (Agatha thought he was Zudok). ‘Vanna play?’

‘Ve gots plasticine at home,’ Oggie said. ‘Ken ve use hyu climbing frame?’

The one with the long nose (Stosh, probably) jumped up. ‘Vos getting boring anyvay,’ he said, grabbing Oggie’s hand and pulling him over to a wooden frame that included both bars and ropes for climbing. Vole knuckled over to join them, walking like a gorilla the way he sometimes did, and Maxim and Dimo followed. Soon they were swarming up the ropes and pushing one another off. Gil and Agatha watched for a while to check they were all settled in, and then to deal with a temper tantrum from Maxim when he fell off a ropes for the fifth time. He wasn’t hurt, he was purely frustrated, but it took a little while to calm him down, even with Oggie and Vole both trying to help. Eventually they left him playing on the balance beam, which he could run up and down without needing to use his hands at all. Oggie was distracted enough by both his new friends and the need to cheer up Maxim that he managed to let Agatha leave with only an anxious hug.

‘That went well,’ Agatha said, as they walked down the hall.

‘It usually does,’ said Gil. ‘Some of them fight, but they usually like being around one another a lot.’

‘Doesn’t that make selling them individually cruel?’ Agatha asked.

‘Maybe,’ said Gil. ‘If they’re as smart as you think, isn’t it cruel to sell them at all?’

‘Don’t you rehome them individually?’ Agatha asked.

‘If we didn’t we couldn’t rehome them at all,’ Gil said, defensively. ‘Your ones are lucky, you know.’

Sometimes Agatha still wondered, considering how unprepared she’d been, but more and more she was feeling confident that she was doing a good job. Keeping them clean, fed and occupied was a constant chore, but she did it. They’d put on weight since she found them, they were more relaxed, they were even happy, mostly. ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘I do my best.’

Gil turned to her at the bottom of the stairs. ‘You take care of three of them, while doing an engineering course, and you’re taking on the world for their rights. Your best is _scary_.’

Agatha found herself grinning up at him. ‘Thank you,’ she said, again, feeling warmth curled in her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With thanks to Almighty_Hat for offering suggestions on various ways the non-camper van part of the rescue could work.


	14. The Best Thing For Jägerpets

Someone was calling from one of the upstairs rooms, ‘Hi, people, hi, hi, hi.’ It brought Agatha to a halt and she poked head head through the doorway. Inside were three dogs and a very tall, and equally broad, dark-skinned woman, with a sleek black bob. A ginger dog ran over to the pet gate fastened in the doorway. ‘Hi!’ the dog said. Agatha could see the fingers, now, on her still puppyishly large paws.

‘Oh, hi there,’ said Agatha. ‘What’s your name?’

‘Name Marta,’ said the dog, wagging her tail. ‘Hi! Person want to pet?’

Agatha bent over to ruffle her ears and caught the eye of the attendant. ‘Hello,’ she said. ‘I’m Agatha Heterodyne.’

‘Gritha Pantagruel,’ said the woman. ‘Pleased to meet you.’

Heavy footsteps on the landing drew Agatha away from Marta, who called, ‘Goodbye, person. Come back again!’ after her.

The people coming down the hallway left Agatha wondering if the rescue consisted mostly of giants. She wasn’t exactly tiny herself, but the man walking towards them made Gil look small, and the woman was at least six feet. The woman was wearing a red tank top and jeans, long, heavy hair still slightly damp from a shower pulled back by a gold hairclip shaped like a surprisingly realistic dragon. The man was wearing a blue-grey sweater and darker blue-grey trousers, while his hair looked like he’d stopped by a Van de Graaf machine before coming to meet her.

‘Zantabraxus Wulfenbach,’ said the woman, reaching out to shake her hand.

Agatha took it. ‘Agatha Heterodyne.’

‘Heterodyne? Really?’ said Gil’s father. ‘Are you —?’

‘One of the Heterodyne Boys was my father,’ Agatha said, quickly. ‘But I’m really not musical.’ Her father and uncle had been a moderately famous musical duo for a while. It wasn’t quite true that Agatha wasn’t musical, but she had no interest in it as a career.

‘Klaus Wulfenbach,’ he said, shaking her hand. ‘Before I got into the animal rescue business, I was their roadie.’

‘Wait. Really?’ said Agatha, mind reeling. She looked at Gil, who was looking equally stunned.

‘Really,’ he said. ‘They made good practice for managing a van of Jägerpets.’

Agatha saw the corner of his mouth turned up and decided that was fond rather than derisive. ‘I won’t argue,’ she said. ‘I’m rather fond of my uncle _and_ my Jägerpets.’

‘I was sorry to hear about your father,’ he added, more sombrely.

‘It was a long time ago,’ Agatha said. Sixteen years. ‘But thanks.’

The restaurant they ended up in was a fairly high-end pizza joint, serving fairly high-end pizzas. They ordered and then sat around feeling awkward. Agatha looked at Gil, who looked away, but then apparently steeled himself and said, ‘Agatha’s been making videos of her Jägerpets. Have either of you seen them?’

‘I’ve seen them,’ said Klaus, non-commitally. ‘They’re well made.’

‘Then you’ve seen my username,’ said Agatha. ‘What did you think of that?’

‘You’ve made your position clear,’ said Klaus. ‘But if you want to complain that we’re not treating them with enough dignity then I’m afraid that’s an expensive commodity.’

‘Agatha didn’t come to complain about the rescue, Father,’ Gil said, one hand spinning his knife on the table. ‘ _I_ wanted to ask whether you’d noticed anything.’

‘I’m concerned with caring for them, not philosophical questions,’ said Klaus.

‘It’s not philosophical!’ said Gil. ‘Vole was dumped on the street. It’s bad enough if he’s an ape, it’s a terrible thing to do to any creature, but if he’s a child… or a person with the mental capacity of a child…’

‘Then the best thing for him is still to have a home with you. And the best thing for the ones at the rescue is to have the homes we find them,’ said Zantabraxus. ‘People who will provide a home for an exotic pet wouldn’t adopt a perpetual child.’

‘But then people treat them like pets,’ said Agatha. ‘Even well meaning people.’ She looked pointedly at Gil. ‘They’re smart enough to feel it, to think things they don’t have the words for. _None_ of them deserve to have the people they love treat them like animals!’

‘And they’re still being produced,’ said Gil. ‘Even if it’s best for the existing ones to be kept as pets, is it okay to just let more of them wind up like that?’

‘You’re not going to stop them being produced, and neither is Agatha,’ said Klaus. ‘You can’t take on a company that’s made itself rich by selling them with a YouTube account. It’s a foolish plan and at best will be ignored.’

Agatha flushed, feeling furious and stupid and furious for being made to feel stupid. The arrival of the pizzas interrupted her before she could say something rash and everyone sat in awkward silence until the waiter was out of earshot.

‘You’re not arguing,’ Gil said, quietly incredulous. ‘You’re not arguing about why they’re not people, you’re arguing about why we shouldn’t do anything about it. They _are_ and you _knew_. Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Whether or not they’re people isn’t a question that can be answered, there’s not even a definition of person generally accepted,’ snapped Klaus. ‘I’m not arguing it because it’s pointless.’

‘You’re not arguing it because it’s true!’ Gil retorted. ‘I can’t believe this. _Both_ of you.’ He threw his hands in the air and nearly flung a piece of pizza across the restaurant.

Agatha took a bite of hers, chewing vindictively. ‘I realise,’ she said levelly. ‘That you don’t even know me. But if you agreed with me from the start it would have been very nice to have some support for my posts.’

Klaus snorted. ‘So I could get thrown off for libel too?’

‘What good is you staying there doing if you won’t say anything?’ Agatha said.

‘ _Practical_ good,’ snapped Klaus. ‘Someone has to steer idiot pet owners away from things that are actually harmful and you can do that without yelling at them that they should be treating the Jäger like their son.’

Agatha took a breath to reply and then choked as her brain put some pieces together. Gil slapped her on the back, hard enough that the first thing she said was, ‘Ow,’ before waving him off and adding incredulously, ‘You’re _Chump_.’ It was Gil’s turn to choke and she slapped his back vengefully until he stopped.

‘…I do use that username sometimes,’ Klaus replied, discomfitted.

‘You liked all my videos. You and Bosun_Higgs…’ She looked at Zantabraxus, who shook her head.

‘I don’t go on the forums at all.’

‘You liked my videos,’ Agatha continued. ‘But you think I should shut up and accept there’s nothing to be done?’

‘No,’ said Gil, tightly. ‘He thinks _I_ should shut up and accept there’s nothing to be done.’ He glared at Klaus. ‘You don’t think I can do anything. Someone else, someone like Agatha, might be worth supporting when _they_ try, but there’s no way _I_ could accomplish anything.’

‘Gil, that’s not it at all,’ said Zantabraxus.

Gil stood up and threw his knife and fork dramatically onto his unfinished pizza. ‘I’m going to get Vole. You can give Agatha a lift home when you’re done.’ Then he stormed out.

Zantabraxus sighed and cut another bite of her pizza. ‘He takes things the worst way.’

‘How else is he meant to take it?’ asked Agatha. ‘You were lying to him about his…’ she trailed off, unsure if the word was ‘kid’ or ‘pet’.

‘Golden Orb is not a safe enemy for him to make,’ said Klaus. ‘Or for you to make, for that matter. You’re not the very first to notice something strange about the Jägerpets. Usually it takes a couple of months before they stop talking about it abruptly. Or close all their online accounts. Some of them are likely paid off.’

‘They wouldn’t _hurt_ people, surely,’ said Agatha. ‘They wouldn’t need to. The definition of “person” is,’ she waved her hands, ‘well, I think It’s important, but it’s arguable. They could just hire a convincing lawyer or, or an animal psychologist.’

Klaus pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘You would think.’

 _Unless,_ thought Agatha. Unless there was something _demonstrably_ shady here. Something to find if too many eyes turned their way. Something she could look for, could keep the spotlight on them long enough for other people to look for.

‘Do be careful,’ said Zantabraxus, gently. ‘Who will take care of yours if you are gone?’

‘They’re not going to assassinate me!’ Agatha protested, feeling an unpleasant lurch in her gut. She wasn’t sure she wanted the rest of her pizza. ‘Are they?’

Zantabraxus patted her shoulder. ‘We can only hope.’


	15. Jägerpet Bones

Agatha hadn’t seen Gil since he’d stormed off a few days ago, so she wasn’t sure what to expect on one of the mornings she usually met up with him. He was sitting on a bench near the playpark, though, watching Vole navigate the slide. Next to him was a young woman with long, green hair, dressed in jeans and a sleeveless t-shirt.

‘Well, _hopefully_ he won’t do it until I can afford a mansion,’ Gil was saying to her.

‘Hello,’ Agatha said.

Gil turned and smiled at her. ‘Hey, Agatha. This is Zeetha, my twin sister.’

‘You didn’t mention you had a twin,’ Agatha said.

‘Oh. Didn’t I?’ Gil frowned. ‘Well, she is.’

Zeetha grinned at Agatha with a flash of fangs. ‘He’s been talking plenty about _you_. Pleased to meet you.’ Maxim, Dimo and Oggie were approaching Zeetha cautiously, sniffing hard. Zeetha looked down at them and said, ‘Sorry, not a giant Jägerpet. It’s just hair dye and implants.’

‘Hair dye?’ Dimo asked.

‘Yeah, you can put this paste in your hair and it turns it any colour you want.’

Maxim’s eyes went wide and he chewed on a claw contemplatively.

‘Do you get that a lot?’ Agatha asked.

‘I help out at the rescue sometimes, the new ones always seem to wonder,’ said Zeetha.

Oggie tugged at Maxim’s hand and he shook himself and ran off to play. Dimo was still lurking close by, Agatha realised. Hopefully he’d decide Zeetha wasn’t a problem soon and go to play with the others.

‘Agatha,’ Gil started as she sat down on the bench. ‘Do you think I could x-ray your Jägerpets?’

‘What?’ said Agatha. ‘Why?’

‘Bone growth!’ said Gil. ‘They’re meant to be adult apes tweaked to look like children for the cute factor. It’s hard to be sure of which things are tweaked, but bones can give some things away.’

‘But if their skeletons are shaped like children’s skeletons couldn’t that just be more of the tweaking?’ Agatha found herself uneasy. Apes that had been given too much intelligence not to be seen as people, yes, but… children? Human children? What was Gil suggesting?

‘Bone _growth_ ,’ said Gil. ‘On an x-ray you can see whether a child’s finished growing. If they haven’t there’s a growth plate at the end of each bone, it gets thinner the less growing they’ve still got left to do. I managed to convince Vole —’

‘Bribe Vole,’ interjected Zeetha.

‘— to let me x-ray his hand. He’s still got growing to do.’

Agatha looked across at Vole, hauling himself to the top of the slide without bothering with the ladder. ‘Uh.’

Gil grimaced. ‘Yeah, I know, but hopefully not fast.’

‘So, why do you need to x-ray mine?’

‘More evidence is always better. And there’s clearly something… different about Vole as it is. Do you know about ligers?’

Agatha looked at him flatly. ‘I’m an engineer. I know about airplanes.’

‘Really? That’s cool. I’ve always wanted to fly,’ said Gil. ‘Ligers are half lion and half tiger, but because the signal to stop growing is on the male gene in one and the female gene in the other they just don’t. Vole’s grown a lot more than a Jägerpet should, already, he might just never stop.’ He looked as if he was going to add something else, then glanced at Dimo and shook his head. Zeetha patted his shoulder. ‘Anyway. Yours are much more typical Jägerpets. If they’re growing, they’re doing it slowly, but that’s not the same as not growing at all.’

What would it mean if her Jägerpets did still have growing to do? A scam, at least, that people were being sold pets as adults that would potentially grow later. A different kind of ape, maybe, not gibbons? Something bigger? A type of ape that was smart, could learn to read and use money, liked stories and _told_ stories (because she’d heard ponies and dinosaurs going to the moon in their bedroom). _That_ type of ape?

‘Gil,’ she said. ‘Golden Orb’s definitely hiding something. If…’ She couldn’t finish that thought in front of Dimo. ‘If I can I’ll get the Jägerpets to come in. When do you have access to an x-ray?’

It turned out Gil had access to an x-ray at the teaching hospital he studied at that evening, but not, technically, the right to bring pets into the hospital and x-ray them.

‘So the _first_ thing you want to do is break the law?’ Agatha said.

‘It’s not doing any harm,’ said Gil. ‘They’re perfectly hygenic if you wash them regularly and I’ve never heard of anyone being allergic to them. Besides, it’s for a good cause.’

Agatha looked at Zeetha. ‘What do you think?’

‘I’m just here to make sure he doesn’t get caught and bail him out if he does,’ said Zeetha. ‘You can stay out of it and leave doing dumb things for a cause to my stupid brother, if you like.’

Agatha was surprised to find herself indignant. This was _her_ cause and doing stupid things for it was _her_ job. Gil didn’t get to be more stupid for the good of Jägerpets than she was. ‘I’m in,’ she said. ‘I’ll talk to them about it.’

Convincing the Jägerpets to let her take pictures of their bones in exchange for doughnuts was easy. Perhaps too easy. Agatha thought everything was going to go smoothly until Zeetha let them in through the side entrance of the hospital and Dimo almost skidded to a stop on the polished floor.

He pushed Oggie’s shoulder. ‘Go beck out.’

Oggie backed up towards the door, eyes flicking from Agatha to Dimo. Maxim was still standing in the doorway. ‘Danger?’ he said.

‘Yez.’ Dimo was swinging his head from side to side like a cornered animal.

Agatha crouched down and reached for him, ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Smell,’ he said.

Agatha inhaled the scent of polish, antiseptic and bleach. ‘You were okay at the vet.’

‘Sound,’ Dimo added. ‘Loud.’

It wasn’t. It was after hours at the hospital, the only sounds were echoes of people moving about in other corridors. ‘I don’t hear anything?’ Agatha said.

‘Sounds like painful things,’ Dimo said. ‘Hy’m not coming in.’

Agatha took a deep breath. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘You can wait in the car, if you like.’ She looked at Maxim and Oggie. ‘Are you two okay with coming?’

‘No,’ said Dimo, moving to stand between them and Agatha, feet planted firmly. ‘They dun come vit hyu.’

‘Dimo,’ Agatha said. ‘This is important. You don’t have to do it if you’re scared, but it’s not dangerous. There’s no reason to stop Maxim and Oggie. It’s no different from the vet’s.’

Dimo’s ears folded down. ‘Beck. Outside,’ he snapped at the other two. Maxim, who was very nearly outside anyway, took a step back into the carpark. Oggie moved towards the door and then stopped.

‘Mizz Agatha vants uz to stay,’ he said.

‘I do,’ said Agatha. ‘Please.’ She looked over her shoulder, listening to the echoes of the hospital. Moving quiet Jägerpets through a few corridors to where Gil was waiting was relatively low risk. Standing arguing with Jägerpets made it much more likely they’d be caught.

Oggie took a step towards her and Dimo grabbed his wrist in both hands and sat down abruptly. ‘Iz danger,’ he said. ‘Trust me.’

Dimo’s authority over the other two had worried Agatha before, but this was the first time he’d gone against her rather than trying to enforce her will on them. Maxim had obeyed him at once and Oggie seemed torn.

‘Do you really think I’d lead them into danger?’ she asked.

Dimo shivered all over. ‘Hyu dun. Hyu dun feel. Smell. Taste. Hear. Iz danger. Hyu dun _know_.’

‘It’s the lights,’ said Zeetha, abruptly. ‘A humming noise, right?’

Dimo nodded hard. ‘Iz a pain noise.’

‘It hurts you?’ Agatha asked. The hum of the flourescent lights was annoying now she was focussed on it. She hadn’t even noticed it before.

‘No. Means pain. If a wire meks noise, or a fence.’

‘Oh!’ said Agatha, irritation melting into admiration. ‘You really are very smart.’ He was. Electric fences, power cables. Anything that made a high pitched humming meant electricity and it was a good idea to stay away from it. ‘But the things making the noise are those lights up there,’ she pointed. ‘You couldn’t touch them if you tried.’

Dimo stood up and crept forwards, ears trianglulating, then nodded. ‘Hokay.’

‘Are you okay to let us take pictures now?’

He nodded. ‘Maxim,’ he called back through the door. ‘Iz hokay.’

Maxim appeared willing to take this on trust — trust of Dimo, not her — and came back inside.

‘What took so long?’ Gil asked when they reached the x-ray lab.

‘Dimo didn’t like the lights humming,’ said Agatha. ‘They’ve encountered electric fences before.’

Gil winced. ‘Are they okay to do this? The equipment hums too.’

‘Dimo,’ Agatha said. ‘The equipment might be noisy, but I promise there’s no danger. I’ll be holding you. Do you want to go last, so you can see that?’

‘Or first,’ Zeetha said. ‘So you can check it’s safe for your brothers.’

‘First,’ said Dimo, firmly.

‘Older sibling experience,’ Zeetha said, when Agatha looked at her.

‘By ten minutes,’ muttered Gil.

Agatha and Dimo got protective aprons for during the x-ray, which Dimo did not find reassuring, but the x-ray itself only took a few seconds. Agatha held Dimo while he tried not to tremble and then Gil called that it was done. Dimo looked confused that it could be over so quickly and easily. Agatha kissed his head and put him down. ‘You were very brave,’ she said. ‘Do you feel better about the others doing it now?’

‘…Yez,’ Dimo admitted.

Afterwards they crowded into the room Gil had worked the x-ray from to look at the images on the screen. Gil pointed to dark spots at the end of the finger bones. ‘Growth zones,’ he said. ‘If I was seeing this without context, I’d say they’re three or four-year-old children.’


	16. What Agatha's Doing

Agatha woke the next morning from dreams of children stacked in cages feeling foggy and sick. School passed in a haze and Van found her midmorning with a cup of coffee and copies of all the notes he’d seen her failing to take in the morning’s seminar.

‘You okay?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know.’ Agatha flopped forward to rest her head on her arms, then heaved a sigh and sat up. She took a sip of the coffee. ‘The Jägerpets might be human. Or something. Human DNA? I’ve been looking up designer pets all morning… the ones that breed true are DNA mixes, usually. Some others are, not mutated, that would be genetic again… they alter them in utero or even as adults. The griffins, for instance, are genetically cats they alter as adults because they don’t really… work, in eggs or uteruses. Uterii? And the pets that can’t breed true are bigger money makers because they can’t be made except by the company. Jägerpets don’t breed… that’s actually a really disturbing thought, they’re _kids_ …’ Agatha yawned and took a gulp of too hot coffee.

Van looked at her with concerned bemusement. ‘Why do you think they’re human?’

‘Gil x-rayed them. They’re not definitely human, but they’re definitely immature whatever they are. And once you stop thinking of them as adults like… like parrots, that can learn as much as a three-year-old but that’s it, you can’t help thinking… they’re smart. Not animal smart. They’re as smart as their physical age. Gil says they’re physically about four, and they act like pre-schoolers. What are they going to be like when they’re physically nineteen, like me? Will they want to go to college?’

‘How long is that going to take? They don’t grow as fast as humans, right?’ Van sounded less like he was worried about her mental health, but a good deal more troubled.

Agatha shook her head. ‘They’ve been on the market for five years and no one’s noticed them growing. Except Vole, I mean, trust Gil to find the weird Jägerpet.’

‘So are you going to be looking after pre-schoolers for the rest of your life?’

‘I can do that,’ said Agatham, grimly. ‘But what’s going to happen to them once I’m gone?’

Van patted her shoulder. ‘I’ll help if I can. But I don’t know anything about any of this.’

Agatha smiled at him and waved a hand at the notes. ‘Seriously, Van, you’re a marvel. You’ve been keeping me afloat while I try to figure everything out.’

That evening Agatha’s strategy of leaving the boys alone so Jenka could sneak in backfired when Maxim took advantage of it to gain unauthorised access to red poster paint and try to put streaks in his hair. He did not enjoy the ensuing bath and protested vigorously that he _wanted_ the paint in his hair.

‘It’s sticking it together,’ Agatha told him, firmly. ‘This is not what Zeetha meant, and it looks terrible.’ Maxim pouted and squirmed, but let her rub shampoo into it. ‘Not to mention you got it on the table,’ said Agatha. ‘You could at least have put newspaper down.’

He heaved a sigh. ‘It could haff vorked.’

‘It really couldn’t,’ said Agatha. ‘You need a special paint for hair.’

He blinked up at her, lavender eyes bright. ‘Ken Hy…?’

‘I’m not buying you hair dye after you ruined my table,’ said Agatha. ‘Maybe one day, if you’re good.’

Predictably, he went back to sulking.

Agatha had just managed to grab him to dry him off when the phone rang. She grabbed it one handed, keeping hold of Maxim’s wrist with the other. ‘Hello, Agatha Heterodyne speaking,’ she said.

‘Hi, Agatha,’ said a warm voice on the other end.

‘Uncle Barry?’ Agatha said. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Everything is here,’ he said. ‘But I, uh. Heard some things about you?’

Agatha looked down at the tiny naked Jägerpet trying to squirm out of her grip, while keeping his claws carefully tucked away so he wouldn’t scratch her if he succeeded. ‘…Can I call you back? I’m in the middle of something. Twenty minutes.’

‘Sure.’

Twenty minutes to get Maxim dried, dressed, slightly scolded, and all three Jägerpets upstairs behind their gate where they wouldn’t be able to find any more paint or, hopefully, mischief. Then Agatha took her mobile out to the car, slid into the passenger’s seat, and phoned Barry.

‘Hello, Barry Heterodyne,’ he said. ‘Agatha?’

‘Yes, it’s me. Thanks for waiting.’ She hesitated. ‘What did you hear?’

‘Your mother called,’ he said apologetically. ‘You know I don’t like to listen to her. But she said you’d adopted three exotic pets and she was worried about your grades… which I doubt… but did you really adopt pets?’

‘Jägerpets,’ said Agatha. ‘Yes.’

‘Is that really a good idea? I’ve heard they’re very high maintenance. Are you doing okay with college work?’

‘I…’ Agatha swallowed. Her grades _had_ dropped. It was just a lot to handle at once. ‘I’m doing okay. I’m still passing!’

‘Agatha,’ said Barry, in a gentle, serious tone. ‘Is this really the best time in your life for exotic pet ownership? I don’t know why you decided —’

‘I didn’t _decide_ ,’ Agatha interrupted. ‘They were in a box, in the rain, and they were so hungry and I’d followed one of them thinking he was a child… they _are_ children, I didn’t realise at first, but they’re no different. I couldn’t leave them there and now they’re mine, I won’t get rid of them until it’s more convenient for me!’

‘Oh,’ said Barry. ‘That makes a lot more sense. Of course you couldn’t leave them. But are you really the best person —’

‘ _Yes_ ,’ said Agatha. ‘I have to be. I tried… I tried to give one of them up, early on, he had seperation anxiety and I couldn’t take him to college with me. I still feel awful about it.’ She sniffed. ‘They listened in and they… they _want_ to stay with me, there’s no way to explain it that doesn’t make them feel like I’m getting rid of them for being sad, or not being good enough, or like I don’t want them, and I _do_ want them.’

Barry was silent for a while, then he said. ‘Do you need any help?’

‘Help?’

‘I know what it’s like to suddenly be responsible for a young child and find your life rearranging itself around them,’ he said. ‘I wouldn’t have given you up for the world, but I don’t know what I would have done without Adam and Judy helping out. Are you trying to handle three of them by yourself?’

‘You believe me when I say they’re children?’ Agatha asked.

‘…I’m very concerned if they are, given that they’re being bought and sold, but I don’t think you’d say something like that without reason.’

‘It is concerning. I’ve been trying to get them rights, I’ve been making videos.’ Agatha sniffled again and stifled a sob. ‘Sorry, I’m just relieved.’

‘Clearly I need to google you more often. But do you need help? I could come up to stay with you for a bit, if you need someone to watch them.’

‘What about your job? I know you work from home, but you need your software.’ Barry hadn’t really played since her father died, and they’d been out of the spotlight before that, but he worked on computer game tracks now.

‘I can afford to take a few weeks off. A few months, even, and then we’d have Christmas break to figure things out.’

Agatha had been enjoying her independence. The thought of not having to leave the kids home alone during the day, though, or of not having to handle everything alone took a weight off her chest she hadn’t realised was there. ‘That would be really nice.’ She pushed her glasses up and scrubbed a hand across her face. ‘I’m afraid they’ve got the guest room, though.’

‘Don’t worry about it. I can sleep anywhere,’ said Barry. He hesitated again. ‘What are they like?’

‘Wonderful,’ said Agatha. ‘Exhausting, but wonderful. Oggie’s a sweetheart. He always tries to comfort anyone if they’re upset and tries to share his candy with me. He’s the most trusting of them, he’ll probably like you. He breaks things the most, and gets distracted easily, but I don’t think he’s ever been mean in his life.

‘Dimo… Dimo’s the reason I’m having this conversation with you in the car. He eavesdrops. He’s not sly, he just really, really likes to know what’s going on. I think being aware of everything around him kept all three of them alive on the streets, he’s incredibly protective. He’s very smart, in a quiet way, and it’s always nice to see him play because he worries too much for someone so small, but then when he feels safe he can get as into being a space invader as any of them.’

‘They’ve had rough lives,’ Barry remarked.

‘Yes,’ Agatha said. ‘Maxim’s the moodiest, but in some ways easier to deal with than Dimo. I get more tantrums from him, but he’s also… if he wants something he’ll try for it.’ She laughed. ‘Even when it’s someone else’s hat. Don’t worry, he didn’t manage to steal it and I bought him one of his own.’

‘Sounds like a story,’ said Barry.

‘Not much of one,’ said Agatha. ‘You know most of it now.’

‘So Dimo doesn’t try for things he wants?’ Barry said.

‘Dimo does what he thinks _I_ want, because it’s the easiest way to be sure I’ll keep them,’ said Agatha. ‘Maxim does what he wants, and if I stop him he’ll sulk or yell like… like most kids. If he’s actually sorry, though, he’ll say it. If he realises he’s hurt someone, including me, then he really wants to make it up to them.’

‘They sound like a lot to take on,’ said Barry. ‘Worth it, but a lot.’

‘Yeah,’ said Agatha, leaning back in her seat. ‘They are though. Worth it.’

‘Kids always are.’

‘I’d better get back to them,’ Agatha said. ‘Dinner’s already late, thanks to an adventure with poster paint.’

‘Oh no,’ said Barry, laughter threading through his voice. ‘Good luck. I’ll call you to let you know when I can come?’

‘Thank you,’ said Agatha. ‘I look forward to seeing you.’

She hung up and closed her eyes for a moment, basking in the knowledge that Uncle Barry didn’t disapprove of what she was doing, as well as relief at the idea of having some help. Then she got up and went inside to make dinner.


	17. Jägerpets Meet Barry

On Saturday, the day before Barry was to arrive, Agatha’s vids were all flagged as inappropriate content. She uploaded them again under another name and an hour later they all went down again. Mid-afternoon she took a break after uploading her videos, again, and went outside to phone Tarvek, both to complain and to update him about the x-rays.

‘You’re not going to put that online, are you?’ he asked, when she’d filled him in.

‘I don’t know what else I can do. I suppose there’s going to the press,’ Agatha said.

‘You’re going to get sued for libel!’

‘They can’t sue me if it’s true.’

‘The fact that they’re selling probably immature animals as adults is true. The possibility that they use human DNA is just your opinion.’

‘You don’t believe it,’ said Agatha, not sure whether to be indignant or relieved. She knew Tarvek believed the Jägerpets were people, either way, and she didn’t want to believe someone would do that either.

‘It doesn’t matter whether I believe it,’ said Tarvek. ‘Legally, you have no evidence.’

‘Is there any way to get evidence?’ Agatha asked.

‘I don’t know,’ said Tarvek. ‘I’m not a biologist. But, please, don’t put it online _yet_ , anyway.’

Agatha said she’d think about it and phoned Martellus. His reaction to having the x-rays explained was, ‘Why are you telling _me_.’

‘Because you know about designer animals,’ said Agatha. ‘Is there a legal way to find out what the DNA structure is?’

‘The police can have it tested if they’ve got reason to believe there’s something illegal there. Usually DNA stolen from someone else’s patented pets, not anything like this. Thinking they act human and having cute videos isn’t going to count as a cause, though.’

‘Do you think it’s possible that they are?’

‘I think I want nothing to do with my family’s messed up business dealings or those creepy Jägerthings,’ he said. ‘But, probably. It would explain why they’re so off.’

‘Do you know where I could get a DNA test done?’ Agatha asked.

‘An illegal one? Find out yourself.’ And he hung up on her.

She could ask Gil to help her do an illegal DNA test. Assuming Zeetha wouldn’t kill her for leading her brother into a life of crime. Could you submit an illegal DNA test to the police as evidence they should check something out, though? Also neither she nor Gil specialised in genetics, so they’d need someone to interpret the DNA test, someone who knew what they were looking for and was still willing to look for it.

Agatha groaned and went back in to find that her videos were flagged. Again.

That evening Agatha was beset by questions about Barry. She’d explained to the Jägers a few days ago that he was someone who had looked after her when she was their size and was coming to live with them for a while so they wouldn’t have to be alone during the day. They wanted to know whether he’d been nice to her, which he had, and then whether he was nice to pets.

‘I don’t think he ever had a pet,’ said Agatha. ‘He’s kind to animals. But he doesn’t really see you as animals. I explained that you’re people.’

Dimo blinked big yellow eyes at her. ‘Hyu really told him dot?’

‘Of course.’

He threw himself into her lap with an abandon unusual in her most reserved Jäger. The other two quickly followed, and all further questions were asked from a cuddle pile.

The next day Agatha flew to the door as soon as the doorbell rang to find Barry waiting on the doorstep, a suitcase in one hand, a guitar case in the other, and two enormous boxes piled next to him.

‘My goodness, what did you bring?’ Agatha asked, hugging him. ‘You always used to travel light.’

‘This is yours,’ Barry said, putting down his suitcase and guitar in the hall and going back to help Agatha haul the boxes in. ‘I thought you might find a use for it.’ He looked down to where the Jägers had clustered at the other end of the hall and smiled at them. ‘Hello, boys,’ he said. ‘Agatha told me a lot about you.’

‘Hullo,’ said Oggie, flashing a smile back but staying where he was for the moment. To his credit, Barry managed not to look startled by his first experience of a Jäger smile. ‘She tell uz about hyu, too.’

Agatha pulled up the flap of one box and caught sight of worn holographic fabric. ‘Princess Stompy Boots!’ she said, pulling out the hand-made robot plush and hugging it. She turned to Oggie, who had come over to look. ‘It’s my favourite toy!’ She reached into the box again and pulled out a fuzzy green caterpillar. Handing Princess Stompy Boots to Oggie, she opened the zips on the sides of the caterpillar and pulled out the shiny pink wings that made him a butterfly. ‘And this is Bugsly.’ Her mother had bought her Bugsly, but he was still an old friend. ‘And Sir Bear,’ she said, pulling out the battered teddy bear in goggles. ‘Are _all_ my old toys in here?’

‘All the ones we kept. The other box is mostly lego,’ said Barry, grinning with pleasure at her surprise.

‘Oh, excellent,’ said Agatha. ‘They’ve already built some really elaborate block castles.’

Maxim had crept over to snag Bugsly and was holding him above his head to make him fly. Agatha reached in again and pulled out a hand-puppet with a white lab coat body and a puff of hair that looked disconcertingly like Gil’s father’s. ‘The Professor,’ said Agatha. ‘From Grandfather. He so wanted me to be a mad scientist.’

‘I think he’s okay with you being a mad engineer,’ said Barry.

Agatha smoothed out the puppet’s hair thoughtfully. ‘Do you suppose he knows anything about designer pets? He is a biologist.’

‘He designs biological weapons, I don’t think that’s quite the same thing,’ said Barry under his breath.

Agatha nodded and pulled opened a biscuit tin. ‘Ooh, my clockwork animal collection.’ She wound up a duck and put it down on the carpet, where it wobbled a few steps and then fell over. ‘It doesn’t really work on carpet,’ she told the Jägers. ‘But it’s great on a flat surface.’

Oggie snatched it up. ‘Hy’m gonna try it in the kitchen,’ he said.

The rest of them followed and Agatha made herself and Barry a cup of tea while the kids played Clockwork Animal Wars on the floor, winding them up and sending them at each other to see whose remained upright longest.

Afterwards they got out the lego in the living room. It was mostly plain blocks, with a castle set and a few spaceships thrown in. A seperate box inside the lego box contained technic, which they were probably too young for, but Agatha indulged in some nostalgic squeeing over it anyway, and started building a car while the Jägers built a boat with the lego. Barry quietly helped them find pieces and Oggie, always the quickest to warm up to anyone, quickly migrated from sitting beside him into his lap.


End file.
